Hi guys, we are back! Who missed me cos I know I missed you all. Anyway let’s get to it.
Before Easter we had a different take on feminism, don’t know about you but the word doesn’t sit well with me, only because of what loads of people make it out to be, I also feel like we can do lots of good things without the need to slap a label on it. However our guest writer today is writing from a mothers perspective and it stirred some thoughts within me. so please let us know in the comments what you think, it’s dilemma Tuesday after all, so we welcome ideas, thoughts and questions.
I wondered for a while myself if the feminist perspective is something I should follow and subscribe to. I wondered as a young woman how to navigate feminism and Christianity. I realized and understood the ideal that feminism does not exist for or against men but solely for the female agender.
Structurally I understand that men have been at the forefront of leading and oppressing. However, I always wondered what would cause an entire gender to feel this way and how I never grew up with women who were in any way smaller than the men around them. I always say my grandfather demanded authority but it was my grandmother who gave it to him. She was always a powerful force, even in her chosen role as a wife. The respect she gave him did not take away from the strength she carried, and he recognized that and treated her as such.
My first year working in the space of rehabilitation and reintegration of offenders, I had not met one woman offender the whole year. I wondered why that is, in a time when offending doesn’t have a race, gender, or a face. I came to realize that although equality is the driving force of the feminist world we live in, the vulnerability of men and the fact that men find themselves in roles of offending is not a much-discussed topic in this feminist world. Why is it that beyond the awful acts men commit, a space where we discuss the vulnerable character of these very men does not exist?
Once you enter the discussion of victim and offender, the former will always be assumed to be a woman and the latter a male. Now I am not saying it is not often that way, statistically more men are perpetrators than woman are. So what is this societal challenge for men that causes them to continuously want to hurt women and exert immense control of the female gender? Why do men want to always feel like the stereotypical man?
Perhaps instead of looking at men for the answer, we can do our bit in understanding ourselves as a women and trying to do only what we can in a bid to change the course. Men are not monsters, they are not all the same, none cut from the same cloth. Their internal battles with identity stem from spaces we cannot fathom, some spiritual, some cultural, some ancestral. Until we as women understand our space and allow them to be human before they are scary men monsters, we cannot see them as the creation God intended them to be.
Disclaimer I am not a feminist, I am a parent of a boy child and a girl child. I am a mother who comes from a single-parent household and due to the violent nature of my marriage, I am left to tender and care for my children on my own. I find myself needing to balance the scale of strength and vulnerability, to show both my kids alike that vulnerability is not taboo and strength though necessary and useful is not the answer to all things. As a parent of a boy and a girl. Empowerment will happen to both. Providing space for vulnerability and strength to both. My son should know that it is okay to be trusting and vulnerable, I should allow him to know what that looks like in a healthy relationship. My daughter the same.
Not knowing what healthy male relationships look like, from my dad to my ex-husband. I can easily follow the feminist agenda. However, I cannot. Prayer is the first place to find Holy spirit guidance, it is the space where healing happens, not just for me but for my historical pain and future victories.
You need not be for or against feminism to understand the spiritual battle men are facing. It is for all people to kneel and pray for the generations to come that this Violent Goliath is met by the Davids in the men God has entrusted with this earth (children and wives). It is through prayer that the true identity of man will be found and restored. This however, like for instance criminal activity, needs us all to be objective and understand that more than one single root is the cause and not all men are the same and cut from the same cloth.
Perhaps the eradication of violent acts against woman will not be met in our generation but we pray for the coming generation to be of men that are honorable, no heroes or monsters but simple men with good intention and care for those around them.
By ~ Kelebogile Boleu – Olivier
I could feel her mom’ness all the way from here and I totally heard her. So what say you all, go on, use the comments section I promise we don’t bite .
See you all tomorrow
Love & light