lets talk Adulting – by Kay-Dee Mashile

I am sure you will agree with me that one thing the past few years taught us all is that ADULTING IS REAL! I think one of the most shared memes of the past decade is possibly the one with the caption “Do not grow up, it’s a trap”!



And boy do I wish I had a choice about it. But on the real, we grew up in the past decade y’all. In fact, we deserve the Grown-Upping Survivors trophy! I mean, we finished high school, graduated from university, got jobs, got married and had babies (at least some of us did), bought cars… All within one decade.



We have had to grow up in these past ten years amidst so many  battles too;  mental illness, racism, academic exclusion, femicide and many other challenges that plague our generation. All this, it seemed, we had to do while watching our biological and societal clocks, because the truth is that some of us barely achieved any of these societal mile stones.



I remember thinking, back in the day, that by 2020 I’d be permanently employed with my own car and a mortgage, probably married as well with a couple of babies, or at least one. And, mind you, I’m only 26 years old this year! (Shhh, don’t tell anyone). I thought that life was supposed to work out a certain way or else I’d be seen as a failure and a disappointment to my family.



So you can imagine how embarrassing it felt to come home after graduating with no job in sight. At first I had the “I won’t be home long” attitude; but when weeks became months, reality hit me (HARD) and I thought that the devil was trying my whole self! But what do you do when praying doesn’t seem to work? Me?? I went back to school to further my studies.


Halfway through the year, I got a contract job (hallelujah!) as a PR and Comms Assistant. Now try explaining that to the family that was expecting a permanently employed Social Worker, as if that’s not bad enough, I quit my job a year and a half later to start a Marketing Agency for NGOs and SMMEs.(I know I left my family wondering too)


At this point, my peers are having babies and buying cars (ticking more and more boxes). And I am truly happy for everyone and praise God for the blessings they receive, trust me. But… to everyone who ‘has my best interest at heart’ it’s like “this could be you but you insist on messing up your life,” which I guess is somewhat fair. Because that really could be me. It could be you, it could be us. Fam! but it isn’t.


Do you dare to believe that we are all exactly where God would have us be? I know it sounds one kind but if God wanted it differently then it would be.


I mean, I could and would have stayed at my job until I got a better job and did the same thing over and over until I retired. In fact, I thought that my life had to work out like that somehow – but I never desired it, I just thought that I had to. At least so that I could qualify for a mortgage and a loan to buy my Mercedes. I thought my life had to follow that script because that is the expectation, right?


So when God (and this is by no means encouragement to quit your job sis/bro) said to let go of what was a secure source of income for a business that could or could not work, I had to be sure sure that I heard Him correctly. I had rent to think about, my lifestyle… I mean yoghurt and fresh vegetables didn’t fall from the sky and I wasn’t sure if manna could still be a thing in 2019, anything can happen but….


One thing I knew for sure though, was that my parents would be disappointed in my decision. Quitting without having another job lined up isn’t a very grown up thing to do, it seems to be a very irresponsible thing. And with the realness of adulting, we can all agree that we literally cannot afford to be irresponsible! Yet I decided to take the leap of faith in hopes that I would soar into greater heights without having to touch the ground. While I didn’t crash and burn, I certainly did land on my feet. I had to begin building from the ground up and I’ll just say that it has been quite an interesting journey that deserves its own cup of coffee!


Let me just close it by saying this, be true to your own journey. Seek counsel so that you never go astray… and when you find yourself feeling lost, do what Samson did, ask God to help you use that situation to fulfil your life purpose anyway. Do I think I made a mistake? Not at all! But obedience certainly does come with its own set of challenges, you best believe.



Run your own race at God’s pace, ignore that biological clock ticking, don’t be pressed by all the things you have not done, milestones you have not reached or what your age says on your birth certificate. Instead live, give God the chance to do Him don’t be scared to stop and applaud people along the way, celebrate their wins, it’s never a waste of time. I have a good feeling about this decade, chin up the wait is always worth it!



love lots


6 thoughts on “lets talk Adulting – by Kay-Dee Mashile

  1. I actually stopped mid way to think about my achievements and what I’m expecting by the end of this decade… Thank you 🙏


  2. I quitted my job in December. It was a real struggle but I knew it was the right thing to do if I was going to transit into another season of life.
    “Let God do HIM” that’s the phase I am right now, learning to let God do Him.

    This is so beautiful, perfect, relatable and rich. Thanks Kay.


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