Okay so it’s Wednesday and we all know what Wednesday is on the blog.
Yep! I’m here for the wives today.
Grab a cuppa and let’s talk
I need you to sit because I’m here for a few hard truths. I initially felt since I’ve been away that I should start off easy and probably just send in a sweet message but honey, if we are going to make progress this year we’ve got to go for the jugular and that may have to include some very hard to swallow truths. Besides satan is already lying to us do we really need to lie to ourselves too?
So let’s talk. Are you sitting? Great!
In recent times I’ve been counselling a lot of women who are tired of their marriages. Tired of their husbands and literally battling depression. Everyday it’s one issue or the other. If it’s not infidelity, it’s money issues or dealing with his insecurities. It may even be living with the consequences of his constant bad decisions or even worse still violence (my own is where there is threat to life like this run o! Ehen! Because I no de for “adidi” – as in “adidi happin?” (How did it happen) lol)
My darling this is the hard truth … when you said your wedding vows you either said or implied “for better for worse” well honey, hate to break it to you but this is your worse. Yep! Definitely your worse. So many women are too focused on dancing, looking beautiful and sounding romantic at the wedding that we are not really listening to the things we are promising to do.
I recently took a long hard look at the traditional vows we take in church not the personalized ones people do these days and to be honest I wonder if we really thought about the vows before answering I DO so eagerly.
Anyway we are here now so what do we do?
Yes I know you’ve been hurt but you need to move past it. There is no other way honestly. I wish there was but there isn’t.
Besides forgiveness is for you not for them.
I know all this sounds cliché and it can be very hard but trust me I know you will survive. Take it from someone who deals with betrayal on a daily basis. Ministry has shown me different dimensions to the fact that the heart of man is desperately wicked. But at every turn God still says to me forgive.
It can be very hard but if you don’t, it hinders your prayers. So imagine having unforgiveness towards the one person you are supposed to be praying for.
2. NO VISITS
You need to stop revisiting the issues let them die a natural death. The truth is every time you dwell on the issues and the many times your spouse has hurt you or on the gravity of what they did you will never heal or get past it.
You need to deal with it, then move on. Make up your mind not to keep going back to the thoughts. What to do instead?
Because you are angry or upset with your husband satan May try to distract you by telling you he doesn’t deserve your prayer or he’s not worth it. Listen no matter how bad your marriage is God can sort it out. To be honest only God can truly sort you out but you must be focused.
Remember that this is about legacy. Even if you don’t “love” your husband anymore don’t you also love your children?
Trust me you don’t want to cut your nose to spite your face.
See the big picture. If this man has his act together he becomes a positive role model for your children and that’s where we are going with this. It’s about saving our homes and our children. It’s about legacy. It’s about not letting satan win. No matter how bad we feel. Remember? Keep your nose on your face
My stand is always WE ARE HERE NOW! SO WHAT DO WE DO? No need crying over spilt milk.
Wait o! This one you are vexing like this. Remember you didn’t marry at Gun point O! There was a time when this man was your sun and moon. You couldn’t wait to walk down the aisle with him.
In fact they told you “wait a bit. What’s the rush?” You were all starry eyed and Cupid struck then
For lack of a better word it was doing you. 😁
Well last I checked love does not die unless it wasn’t really love. Do you know how I know ?
Love will keep going … no matter what. So what you may have to do is remember a time when he still used to make your heart beat differently. When you had butterflies in your tummy when he walked into a room. (Why didn’t all this happen for me sef? Hmmm…)
When you get there. Stay there and use that love and fight for this man that you love.
I’m sure you already guessed I was going to say what I’m about to say. You need to PUSH. This prayer is not a one day fix all. It’s a life long commitment to praying and putting God first in your marriage by never giving up on your partner
Making sure you keep going even when it looks like nothing is changing. Just hold on. When the clouds are full it will pour. You have to keep PRAYING UNTIL SOMETHING HAPPENS.
so Ladies, every time you feel like you are DONE remember your vows and remember these points, keep PUSHING.