Valentine’s Day has always been a big deal to me. Is it just another day in February, a holiday centered around women or just another reason for the men to spend on the women?  Is it overhyped? Isn’t every day of the year supposed to be a love day? Well, the short answer is ‘Yes’.

We know all these things, or let me rephrase, I know, but there is something sweet and special about Valentine’s Day and so it is a big deal.


Back in secondary school, the girls made a fuss about it. The guys would go over and beyond (whether or not they stole their parents money to impress, is irrelevant) but they went all out and if you didn’t get a Val’s gift from a guy, who had a crush on you or your boyfriend, you were the outcast, just another insignificant person in school.

So it didn’t matter that my dad and sisters would go out of their way to send me gifts or letters and trust me that was nice because I was a boarder, so getting that gift, early in the morning always made my day but I still needed and wanted a gift from the opposite sex. I wanted to feel like all the other girls, I wanted to belong, to be special, I wanted to pepper them, and God knew the level of pride I would have had if I ever received a gift from a boy, so He said “Nope, humble yourself and take your L”

I finished secondary school almost 20 years ago (yes I am old) and I can tell you for free that I have still not received a gift from the opposite sex on Val’s day , not from the couple of guys I dated , not the ones who claimed to fancy me, not even as a gesture of good will: does that make me feel some type of way? Yes and on some days I feel like sulking or, when I want to harass God then He quickly reminds me that the death of His son was more than any gift I could ever ask for , need or imagine (so I never win that battle) but I still wish that it would matter enough to someone who cared for me to do it .

A few weeks ago, I came across a tweet in the streets of Twitter and it finally woke me up and it simply said

“Practice your love language on yourself, I repeat practice your love language on yourself”

It finally dawned on me that all these years, I was waiting on someone to do something I didn’t know to do for myself , I wanted someone to love me when I hadn’t even showed myself the same type of love 💗.

My dad always used to say, “You can always tell people how to love you but it’s easier to show them”

And now this makes more sense. If there is any day that we should be practicing your love language on yourself it is on Valentine’s Day , if it doesn’t mean anything to you , great, but if it does and you are like me, then spoil you , show you a good time ,get you gifts , make you feel special.

So, whatever your love language is…


Gifts – buy you something you want and can afford, get it wrapped. If you can, have it delivered on Val’s day.


Love attention/quality time- Then buy little treats, pick a good movie after work/school or take the day off if you can and spend time with you. Listen to you , be present and enjoy your company.


Big on acts of service – then think of that thing you have been asking someone to do for you, and then do it. Wow yourself, blow your mind then pat yourself on the back and say, well done.


Words of affirmation is your thing – write you a love letter, pick up the Bible that is a huge love letter to you, or you can take a cue from uncle Solomon and tell yourself all the things you want to hear.


Physical touch is more your thing, sister book that spa appointment now. Go into the world of massage and be touched 😉


So go on and plan something for you , I know it is beautiful to get from a guy, or a girl that fancies you but it is also beautiful to give (even if you are giving to yourself)


You are the one who sets the tone for how people treat you and how they love you but if you have never shown yourself how it is done, how can you then know if someone else is treating you right?


They say our hearts eat lies when it is hungry. So feed your heart, feed it with love from you so everyone who comes into your life, knows how to love you.

So go on, make a big deal if you want, do not be tensioned by all that is happening around you or on social media this valentine, and practice your love languages on yourself today and always, because you deserve it.


With all the love,



  1. Getting too many wise ideas for the season😉😋
    Gon give me a real good time mehn..😊
    Hubstar can learn from me cos loving me is the in thing♥️ I love me😍😍😍
    Thanks Desemi.. sending you hugs🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗


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