One Last PUSH….

Hey people

Okay so it’s Wednesday and we all know what Wednesday is on the blog.

Yep! I’m here for the wives today.

Grab a cuppa and let’s talk

I need you to sit because I’m here for a few hard truths. I initially felt since I’ve been away so long that I should start off easy and probably just send in a sweet message but honey, if we are going to make progress this year we’ve got to go for the jugular and that may have to include some very hard to swallow truths. Besides satan is already lying to us do we really need to lie to ourselves too?

So let’s talk. Are you sitting? Great!

In recent times I’ve been counseling a lot of women who are tired of their marriages. Tired of their husbands and literally battling depression. Everyday it’s one issue or the other. If it’s not infidelity, it’s money issues or dealing with his insecurities. It may even be living with the consequences of his constant bad decisions or even worse still violence (my own is where there is threat to life like this run o! Ehen! Because I no de for “adidi” – as in “adidi happin?” (How did it happen) lol)

My darling this is the hard truth … when you said your wedding vows you either said or implied “for better for worse” well honey, hate to break it to you but this is your worse. Yep! Definitely your worse. So many women are too focused on dancing, looking beautiful and sounding romantic at the wedding that we are not really listening to the things we are promising to do.

I recently took a long hard look at the traditional vows we take in church not the personalized ones people do these days and to be honest I wonder if we really thought about the vows before answering I DO so eagerly.

Anyway we are here now so what do we do? Especially because we are marching into March with our 31 days of praying for our husbands. If the prayer is going to be effectual and effective.

1. FORGIVE

Yes I know you’ve been hurt but you need to move past it. There is no other way honestly. I wish there was but there isn’t.

Besides forgiveness is for you not for them.

I know all this sounds cliche and it can be very hard but trust me I know you will survive. Take it from someone who deals with betrayal on a daily basis. Ministry has shown me different dimensions to the fact that the heart of man is desperately wicked. But at every turn God still says to me forgive.

It can be very hard but if you don’t it hinders your prayers. So imagine having unforgiveness towards the one person you are supposed to be praying for.

2. NO VISITS

You need to stop revisiting the issues let them die a natural death. The truth is every time you dwell on the issues and the many times your spouse has hurt you or on the gravity of what they did you will never heal or get past it.

You need to deal with it, then move on. Make up your mind not to keep going back to the thoughts. What to do instead?

3. FOCUS

Because you are angry or upset with your husband satan May try to distract you by telling you he doesn’t deserve your prayer or he’s not worth it. Listen no matter how bad your marriage is God can sort it out. To be honest only God can truly sort you out but you must be focused.

Remember that this is about legacy. Even if you don’t “love” your husband anymore don’t you also love your children?

Trust me you don’t want to cut your nose to spite your face.

See the big picture. If this man has his act together he becomes a positive role model for your children and that’s where we are going with this. It’s about saving our homes and our children. It’s about legacy. It’s about not letting satan win. No matter how bad we feel. Remember? Keep your nose on your face

My stand is always WE ARE HERE NOW! SO WHAT DO WE DO? No need crying over spilt milk.

4. REMEMBER

Wait o! This one you are vexing like this. Remember you didn’t marry at Gun point O! There was a time when this man was your sun and moon. You couldn’t wait to walk down the aisle with him.

In fact they told you “wait a bit. What’s the rush?” You were all starry eyed and Cupid struck then

For lack of a better word it was doing you. ๐Ÿ˜

Well last I checked love does not die unless it wasn’t really love. Do you know how I know ?

Love will keep going … no matter what. So what you may have to do is remember a time when he still used to make your heart beat differently. When you had butterflies in your tummy when he walked into a room. (Why didn’t all this happen for me sef? Hmmm…)

When you get there. Stay there and use that love and fight for this man that you love.

 

5. P.U.S.H

Im sure you already guessed I was going to say what I’m about to say. You need to PUSH. This prayer is not a one month fix all. It’s a life long commitment to praying and putting God first in your marriage by never giving up on your partner

Making sure you keep going even when it looks like nothing is changing. Just hold on. When the clouds are full it will pour. You have to keep PRAYING UNTIL SOMETHING HAPPENS.

So get ready ladies. It’s like a spiritual stretch before the real exercise.

Let’s do this

Let’s do this for our husbands

Let’s do this for our children

Let’s do this for OUR legacy

… let’s do this to annoy satan ๐Ÿ˜

Love

pastor M

15 thoughts on “One Last PUSH….

  1. It have tey ma. Please write an article about verbally and physically abusive wives. I would like to send it to someone if you dont mind. Some people like the anonymity of blogs.
    Christian couples are allowing anger degenerate to shouting matches and throwing objects. A whole light of the world! Ha!
    Love you btw ๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹

    Like

    1. Hmmm… God help me o! Let them not come after me ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ I will think about it. Iโ€™m usually inspired to put down my thoughts. I pray the inspiration for this comes soon.
      Love you too dear

      Like

  2. New follower here. My interpretation of the “worse” in “for better or worse” was more of things outside the couple’s control, and not issues caused directly due to actions that are harmful. For example, a man who intentionally cheats on his wife continuously. She should pray for him, but perhaps is there a point when her waiting for him to come around becomes absurdity? Her emotional health will suffer in such an environment despite haven forgiven the man (not to mention the possibility of acquiring an STD). If her emotional health suffers, her children ultimately suffer.

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    1. A few years ago this would have been my stand too but after doing ministry and dealing with people Iโ€™ve come to the conclusion that itโ€™s not quite that simple. Itโ€™s easy to say these things till one is actually faced with them. Why do women stay in these relationships?

      I donโ€™t think worse is just external factors. A lot of worse is one or both parties. It could be a man thatโ€™s bad with money. It could be a lazy man who will not provide. It could be a verbally abusive man. My dear you cannot define the worse until you encounter it and too many women are shocked by their worse. Worse is worse as the name implies. Anything that is bad no matter where it is coming from.

      As for a cheating spouse. Yes if the man does not want to change she can take the option of walking away which Jesus made clear but thereโ€™s a state you get to that you understand what Jesus meant by the caveat of divorce was given due to the hardness of mans heart (I believe on both sides) but I often wonder what if we were to actually love like Christ – donโ€™t you ask yourself if you are a Christian what kind of love would put itself in harms way? But Jesus did. Would you die for you?

      I donโ€™t encourage abuse of any kind but I also donโ€™t encourage two people not absolutely in live with Jesus to marry too so hey! If only we lived in a perfect world.

      I believe thereโ€™s a process for healing infidelity. Itโ€™s not a just cover it and move on process like most cases in Nigeria.

      I believe everyone should sha know their limits and where they draw the line.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Heyyyyyy Satan is already lying to us. Should we also be lying to US?

    IssaWord mama. I caught it.

    Plus I also saw a spiritual stretch before the real exercise? Phew. A wife’s job (more like a Christ follower’ s job) is never done

    Satan the fool

    Mama March is one more sleep oooooooooo

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  4. I am so blessed to be part of this ma’am. Really missed your write up. Thank you for always been a blessing. My marriage will be 5 month tomorrow and in this few days I have seen that one of the places your Christianity is tried the most is in marriage so I kukuma stay with God more. When u hear that a man and woman are configured differently, it’s really in marriage that one really understand. Thank you ma. Please keep it coming your blog is a tablet๐Ÿ˜€.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I do not think couples really understand the “for better, for worse caveat.” I have always been of the opinion that those vows should be dissected/disemboweled to couples in marriage counseling so that both understand fully what it means or it should just be scrapped completely.

    It takes a lot of getting down to know God to fully understand what is purpose is for marriage and what His expectations are for His children. God’s path is never the easiest but it is the most effective way of getting us to die to self and helping us become truly like Christ. Until we understand what Christ was put through, we may not fully understand what love is.

    The feminist in me wants to always ask must it be the woman alone who prays but God revealed a lot of things to me:

    1. The devil fully understands the nature of men and women. If he takes the man, the woman by virtue of her nature will be continually focused on the man…the children become neglected. The legacy is then broken. But if he takes the woman, the blow might not be as effective.

    2. The man by nature is very weak as against what society has preached for a long while. Women are stronger not physically but by virtue of the fact that with their will/wiles, they can get a man to do just what they want. The key is to study the man well.

    3. Women are the sole caretakers/givers of the children. A woman whose attention is constantly fixed on her spouse will effectively miss a lot of details about her children. Satan capitalised on this and goes in for the kill. In other words, Satan understands the nature and power of the woman as well as the nature and strength/weakness of a man and he uses this knowledge to destroy the family.

    4. There is no marriage in heaven. Marriage is a temporary arrangement by God and for God to achieve His purpose on earth. We need to understand that even the lives we live is for God. Such understanding helps us to seperate our selfish claims and aspirations to instead turn to what God’s will is for the home. To effectively know this will, we have to go to the manufacturer/ manual and get wisdom to be a successful minister/servant in this ministry. The children you have are God’s and you are a vessel to be used for them. If we learnt to live with the mindset that the lives we live is unto God then we can serve better and get strength to live in times of difficulties.

    5. It is only good things the devil is interested in…so stand your ground and fight back. Whatever means via which the devil decides to attack, fight back. Till your spouse comes to the full knowledge of Christ, go ahead and be the virtous woman you were called to be…it is the diligence of the woman at home that qualified her husband to sit at the gates and be acknowledged.

    7. Understand your power as a female minister/wife/mother and harness wisdom to use it both spiritually and physically.

    8. The home is really ours…so unless you do not value peace and prosperity for yourself, you leave it to serpents and demons to trample upon.

    At this point, I am still trying to learn more and get more knowledge so please if there is any point above that I may be wrong with, I trust Pastor that you will shed more light on it.

    Love and peace to you.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I am more than eager to join this train…One thing i’ve learnt over the last 5yrs of marriage is that deliberately PRAYING for my husband is tremendously rewarding. I’ve seen alot of positive changes, alot of tenderness, my husband says “i am sorry” it can only be God.

    Liked by 1 person

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