I decided to take back my blog for the next couple of days before people actually forget it’s mine 😂😂
I’m just kidding though I’ve loved having guest writers on the blog and I love how many beautiful expressions of the promises we’ve had. The funny thing about the promises is when we started writing them we didn’t think it would have this much impact or that people would actually start to personalize them or hear God speak them so clearly. It just gladdens my heart how much this has changed lives.
Today I will share one of my promises from God. I’m hoping I can be as vulnerable as the Holy Spirit asked me to be. I will try though I promise.
Anyhow here goes…
So I’m not sure a lot of people know this but one of the greatest battles I have to fight on a daily is the battle of fear.
Yes, you heard me right FEAR. 😂😂😂
I know I come across to a lot of people as having it all together, being on top of everything and being a great woman of Faith. If I count the number of times people call me that…. hmmm….
You see, fear has been a constant in my life for so long that I don’t even remember not being a fearful person. I was the child who watched movies sitting behind my mum so that if there were any scary bits I would hide my face behind her.
I was the child who was so scared of the dark that all the clothes hanging over chairs or curtains would somehow transform into monsters who wanted to capture me back to their evil kingdoms.
I was a good girl in school because I had the fear of “if I join them to sneak out of school or doing anything bad that’s the day they will catch us” 😂😂 whether that was a true philosophy or not I never waited to find out. Besides the fear of my parents was the beginning of wisdom. I knew whose child I was.
Back then I was afraid to miss the rapture or end up in hell so I took the easy way out – I got born again. Was that the only motivation? No! But it was a good enough one. An eternity in hell was enough to put some righteous fear in me 😁.
I still remember my wedding day most brides would be smiling and dancing and full of excitement I on the other hand was shaking so much That the pastor threatened to stop the wedding ceremony if I didn’t stop shaking. Just say fear and I would most likely turn around because that was my name for so long.
I think the most scary thing for me has always been fear of failure or embarrassment. It’s the thought that you openly declare something and then it doesn’t happen 🙈 the shame ehn! And things embarrass me easily o! I can even be embarrassed for people. 🙈😂
I’m the kind of person that cannot watch auditions of most singing competition shows. I can’t handle people making a fool of themselves so imagine how I’d feel if I failed at something or made a mess of things.
It’s so bad that I’m even afraid of missing flights – yes I will get to that airport at least 2 hours and check in and sit down doing nothing but waiting. I’m saying all this to show you that fear has been such a huge part of my life for so long.
Interestingly I think the reason God makes me do a lot of faith projects is to fight fear.
I find myself being thrown into so many faith projects that it’s hard to focus on the fear but I find that Anything God asks me to do my first response is always ….. yep! You guessed right – FEAR! But I’ve learned not to struggle with any assignment.
I still remember the first time I knew God was going to use me he spoke to me with this.
“The angel of the LORD appeared to him and told him, “The LORD is with you, you valiant warrior!” – judges 6:12 (ISV)
Imagine Me! Valiant warrior hmmm…. that wasn’t exactly what I would use to describe myself but God knew me. He knew who he made me to be and if I was in doubt he was quick to reassure me that he knew me more than I would ever know myself
I was built to be strong. Stronger than I knew.
I was created to beat fear yet I struggled with it. Unfortunately when I discovered I was strong, I began to use my strength physically not realizing the the fights I was created to win were not physical ones
But spiritual and boy, were there spiritual battles.
Now the funny thing about these battles were that God always wanted me to fight them publicly. I remember when he told me that to have babies I was to stand in faith on his promises and do nothing else but believe
That was okay but he wanted Me not only to believe but to announce it publicity every opportunity I got that I was having twins – a boy and a girl. Was I afraid? Yes! Did I believe? Yes but the voice of fear was still very loud in my head
I didn’t mind believing but announcing it publicly hmmm…. I kept thinking in my head “what if…” but you know we serve a speaking God and he had a promise for me
So that strengthened my faith and eradicated my fears and true to His Word
Just as he promised my twins born exactly two years apart on the same day and as if that wasn’t enough he gave me extra
Every time we’ve had any JUGN meetings or program that was me literally tearing fear to shreds. Every single time was a crazy walk of faith and we never did anything without a clear word from God. Never!
So this year JUGN turns 10 and you know how we do, we had planned to throw down. So my team and I had made so many elaborate plans and they were really good even if I say so myself but just before we got really excited, I feel the Holy Spirit say to me
What?! More how? Lord to be honest all the plans I’ve made are already stretching me beyond anything I thought possible. My faith is already bursting at the seams.
“MORE… and I want you to start talking about it because I want people to see THE EXTRAVAGANCE OF JESUS. I want people to know they can believe Mr for anything.”
At that point a lot of the What ifs…. began. If we don’t say anything and we believe quietly it won’t be bad o!!
Negotiating with him NEVER pays off.
I know you’re thinking ah ah! But you’ve done JUGN Conferences before this should be easy. 😂😂😂😂😂 What I’m saying to you is that God is asking me to go overboard. I know about lions and bears darlings and yes the testimony of lions and bears strengthens you for Goliath. But there are other battles ahead – Saul, the philistine armies, betrayal of friends and family. At those times David needed a NOW WORD. He enquired.
So as much as I had gotten instruction and I know that should be enough for a lot of you, I needed assurance as well. I knew what to do I just needed a word of assurance. That’s what I hinge my faith on when it all gets a bit too much.
And yes you guessed… I serve a speaking God. When he spoke…
It’s so good…. so so good…
Yep! It’s that good. It left me speechless really. It felt like one of those promises I got when believing for Dassah, Davida and David. Just look
See? I told you it was good!
I. WILL. NOT. FAIL.
No matter how crazy I dream I will not fail.
Do you know why?
God is within me. He’s inside of me and he’s doing it himself so if God cannot fail, I cannot fail. I’m operating on a higher frequency. God is within me; dreaming big and executing it.
He’s helping me and it’s not a rescue kind of help it’s a help that starts early before I become overwhelmed.
I’m so intoxicated by this promise I’m putting it every where
I’m wearing it
I’m drinking green tea in it 😉😉 @coache.
My point is this promise just strengthens me for the craaaaaaaazy big things God wants to do at JUGN but also for the even bigger assignments in my life going forward.
Kai! just looking at it again makes me so happy. I think it calls for a group celebration.
because if God has given me this promise. He’s rich unto all darlings that means you too will not fail. Victory is sure my darlings. Victory is sure! Now my question to you is this…
I now have an antidote to fear darlings.
That’s the secret to living a life void of fear – living fearless is living faith full !
Okay guys gotta run. I did this post earlier then lost it all. Almost got discouraged and gave up but I remembered I cannot fail 😁 so started all over again.
Ok darlings gotta run its been insanely busy here. But you know I love you guys right?
See you soon