Day 6: My Help…

So to be honest kemi literally harassed me into doing this post today. I am operating sleep deprived. In actual fact I’ve been feeling like someone is stealing my time. It doesn’t feel like I have 24hours like everyone else

It just seems there isn’t enough of it in one day.

Don’t mind me it’s just me being overly dramatic. We are learning everyday how to keep juggling it all without dropping any “balls.”

I know it can feel overwhelming. The wheels don’t stop turning and I’m sure by now you know the carousel never stops and if you are not careful you can take it out on those you love

So on today’s CHAYIL HAVEN, I’m here to help a few married women because after all Wednesdays are our days.

So pull up a chair. Sit down for a bit (no one will die if you take an extra 5 minutes. Trust me) let’s talk.

Okay so for some of us Christmas is that season where we have to up our game because things get a bit busier – kids are on holiday, NO SCHOOL! You are actually thinking what do I do with them all day? It’s these seasons that make you love teachers more. Just imagine a world with no teachers

Almost feels like even before the holiday has started you cannot wait till you hear those special words BACK TO SCHOOL.

but until then, your life just got busier. Deal with it. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Another scary thing about this season Is the fact that people somehow feel the need to visit you or want you to visit them and visiting anyone this season can be a stressful experience both for the visitors and the “visited” and frankly I know most wives would want a break even if for a few minutes

Every moment of rest you can sneak in really matters. Although it starts with wanting more “me-time” then before you know it you are officially a party pooper


Okay so by now we’ve established the obvious, your life is going to be a tad bit Busier in December. And then wait for it…


Nannies, cleaners, maids, live in helps will all leave for Christmas or worse still forever and after you’ve spent all year training them and creating a system that works.

I mean this morning alone I cannot count the number of women I came across who asked me for an agent to bring them a nanny for this season.

Sadly that’s like searching for a needle in a haystack

So let me help you….

1. Most helps will leave during the holidays. If you think about it who doesn’t want a holiday? They have families too. The only way to keep them from leaving during Christmas is if you have become their family but hey! Let’s be fair everyone misses home.

2. Prepare yourself- Don’t panic! Since you know they will leave, you need to plan and prepare for it so it doesn’t take you by surprise. Make sure all the major things you cannot handle alone are done. Make sure they take on the big assignments like spring clean the home so that all you are left with is touch ups and dusting.

Find out how long they will be gone and if they will return. If unsure please go ahead and start planning for a new help. Don’t be sentimental about it. Get the agencies to send you someone once the holidays are over.

Tip: Best hands get picked first. So get in line quickly. 3. Let Everyone Help – Do not assume you can do this alone. You WILL burn out.

Let everyone chip in. They can do somethings. Maybe not the big things or even in the best way but they can do basics. Also the best time to get the kids to work.

Holiday season is major training season in my home. We clean, cook, wash up together. They learn that it’s a great time to pick up not only after themselves but others too. Also a great time to actually bond.

Tip: make it fun for the kids or they will hate doing chores forever and don’t complain if they don’t do things perfectly. 4. Dont sweat the small stuff. If the beds are not made perfectly to military standard don’t go into a fit.

Relax! What’s a few dirty dishes if your home is also filled with Peace and laughter. Enjoy the season with family and friends. Do what you can, when you can. Order out if you have to. Cook when you can.

And rest when you are tired

Tip: Take it easy. No one is scoring you. Remember only the living can celebrate Christmas. 5. Pray- you will need a lot of strength this season both physical and spiritual

So pray for yourself. You will need a lot of strength. A lot…

Pray for lots of patience. Once you are stressed there’s a tendency to want to take it out on the people around you. So if you are not careful you will shout at your kids a lot more and spank them more than is necessary. You will need lots of love and patience.

Also start praying for the right help from now. I did that a lot. I prayed for help and sowed seeds. Gave gifts to amazing helps with permission from their bosses of course 😊 but I also stood on a few scriptures and God came through for me

The secret is to look to God not your skill or perception to pick the right help. Trust God and be in faith that your help will come from God. He made heaven and earth and he knows where all the right people are.

I prayed for help straight from heaven and not that they will abandon me after o! I needed touch up o! Heavenly “support” so that she doesn’t turn out to be good and then run mad later πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

God always answers.

So start speaking now into next year and the kind of help you need.

But more importantly Enjoy the season. Christmas came early this year. Makes me so happy

Enjoy every moment of it ladies.

My prayer for you is that you not lose your child like wonder and that you will handle all the stress that’s building up so you actually enjoy your life.

Have fun ladies.






Please don’t take any help that’s under 18 and please treat them well and pay them not the agents. Protect them.

11 thoughts on “Day 6: My Help…

  1. Oh yes you prayed for me and I prayed like you did. My help is literally from heaven.
    Best part???? She said she wasn’t travelling for Christmas. Like I had made PLANS for 2weeks and for friends to pop in and help (I did a roster actually lol) assuming she would go and I didn’t mind giving her 2weeks too only for her to say she’s not going oooooooooooooooo.

  2. Thanks Mama for reminding me that no one is scoring me. I just realized that I have been the one scoring myself. Usually, Christmas is a time for handwork and prayers for me, but this time around, i will ensure that i have fun as well.
    I am married to an Igbo man (Lol), so we are travelling for Christmas for two good weeks. He is the last born of 10 children(both parents are alive and well), so I have to pray for strength and patience and divine help. The last time i traveled home during Christmas(2015), i returned to Lagos drained and fell ill.
    You have really encouraged me today and i am excited about this season.
    Thank you ma.

  3. This is hands down my favourite post this year, it touches the core of my heart cos with mum down and everyone working when you have loved someone the whole year and they just pack up at Christmas and go it breaks my heart and we start thinking what do we do, how do we get out of work, who will stay with her and its fights and arguments and just ugly so yes this post definitely teaches a thing or two and I am definitely getting down on my knees and praying about it but most importantly not stressing, all good things eventually come, so we do what we can and just enjoy the holiday.

    Ahh thank you mama, thank you plenty for this one, it touches me well and I definitely learned from it.

    Yay I think i finally caught up…

    Dear mama, kindly remember that Santa sent you a letter a year ago. πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‹

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