#August30series: beautiful people

Still going strong…
Today I’m doing a combo of Thankful Tuesday and dilemma Tuesday. Do you know what that means? You get a double portion today yay!!!

And I’m doing this because I need to push myself. I am sooooo tired.

But tired ain’t got nothing on me. So rather than go AWOL on you guys I decided to put “my body under” and go the extra mile today. No giving up

So even though I’m Exhausted today I’m still Very grateful for my life and all the many blessings in it.

I’m off for another conference tomorrow. Hopping on another plane tomorrow for a few days of learning. I don’t think I’ve ever done this before- a full and very intensive three weeks. I could easily feel overwhelmed but I choose to be thankful for my rich, full, satisfying, fulfilled and very busy life.

So even though like I said I’m so tired? I’m happy it’s a Tuesday because now I’m forced to be thankful πŸ˜‰

So what am I thankful for today?

I’m thankful for all the amazing people and beautiful relationships God has brought my way. I’m learning to be more appreciative of people more now than ever because I don’t think my life would be possible without the people God sends to me. Now I usually wouldn’t do a name thing because I don’t want to miss out anyone but today I will just go with the flow.

So I’m especially thankful for all the JUGN helpers God has sent me and they are the ones I’m thankful for today.

Of course my assistant on all things kemi aka Miss Shittu

How she copes with my life and hers I have no idea. I bounce every idea and execution off her. I pick her brain and harass her to harass me to meet all my deadlines. She manages schedules and all other things. Co-writes on the blog. Gosh! Just writing all she does I’m tired and she runs kemistry photography also responsible for most of davids lovely pictures.

Then of course blessing … chief accountant aka “voice of reason” πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ left to kemi and I JUGN conference will hold on the moon and we would serve oysters and diamond crusted bibles as souvenirs πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

blessing is just that … a blessing!

Wife and mother of two.

Faithful steward of God’s money and resources. Never met anyone so excited about God’s work. Everything thing is “hey! Oya now mama let’s do it” Very passionate. She can burst into tears if someone is not going God’s work with the consciousness of how great God is and how much he deserves and yet she can tear you to shreds with an “it’s God’s own and you are wasting it?!”

Oh! And blessing is a Worshipper

Then if you’ve ever been at any Of our meetings whether WWW or JUGN conferences then you must have gotten a promise as you walked in. This is the angel that God sent me to prayerfully and lovingly write out those promises. Bose is such a huge blessing and very low maintenance. Even when she was going through her own personal struggles still very consistent.

Someone once asked me how I manage running my life with such young babies. This is my major armor bearer on that one. Eky aka Aunty Eky aka Aunty mama aka Aunty Amama aka Amamama 😁

She runs shifts with me πŸ˜‚ assistant mummy as I call her. She’s the one who holds my kids when I need to write or pray or prepare. She takes them home when I need to stay back at work. She cares for them when I need to travel for work. Although we need to add some more doses of play other than that she’s amazing and she does all this while doubling as church admin.


She can groove sha o she just looks quiet πŸ˜‚ our traveller. Eky knows how to just shut down and travel. This life is too short abeg. I feel you πŸ˜‚

These next two people … husband and wife run all our creatives. I don’t know what I did to deserve them … femi and amaka

Sorry femi you are too tall I cut your head πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Femi always had my back ..,. Literally πŸ˜‚

Amaka on the other hand is rarely seen but her work is never hidden

The way she interprets my dreams you would think she lives in my head. …or my heart.

Finally I can’t thank God for JUGN without mentioning these two people.

Tope and Diche make up an outfit known as Writers Ink and that’s one business that firmly and consistently holds up our hands financially at JUGN. If you see them blessed don’t even wonder why. He that waters shall be watered. Their reward is so great. Their consistent sacrificial partnership makes our ministry of generosity very easy.

Like I always say when you see something as beautifully organized or blessing lives much as you would like to believe it’s angels paying for it, It is not. Human beings are writing cheques and while you just makeup and go for events and shout all night “Lord do for me!” He is already doing for some who asked him earlier “Lord what will I do for you?”

Any way in all I’m grateful and thankful for all these and many more wonderful people who time will not allow me mention now. I’m truly grateful Lord but I’m even more thankful for the amazing people whom he will send to join our team.

—————————————————————–

Okay so dilemma time.
You know what this means right? Best comment wins a gift.

I got married in April 2010 and my husband and I are trusting God for a child. Only last week a family meeting was called by my father in-law. And that meeting has turned my life upside down.

I just discovered that my husband of 7 years had an affair 2 years ago and although he claims it was a one night stand and totally unplanned as we are both Christians. He was simply at the wrong place, wrong time with the wrong crowd. Now the issue is this. The girl got pregnant and didn’t know how to tell him. Her parents live outside the country She was staying with an Aunty while doing her NYSC. During child birth she died. The Aunty took care of the baby for a while but didn’t mention it to her parents or tell them cause of death. Now the baby is a year and few months and the Aunty is about to get married and cannot continue to care for this child and somehow traced my father in-law.

My husband sat there with shock clearly written all over his face and few moments of shame if I read the expression correctly because right now I feel like I don’t know him anymore. He did this and never once mentioned it. How did he sleep at night? I fear he can even kill me.

Now I’m faced with two issues
1. My father Inlaw thinks I should take the child since we have none yet and it’s a boy. If I do if I now have a child won’t there be issues?

2. If I accept this child won’t I always remember he cheated on me? If I don’t won’t I look like a witch?

I need advice please.

Okay guys let’s help a sister out. Put your self in her shoes this is a very difficult time for her.

God bless you darlings
Good night. I need to get Vida to sleep it’s almost midnight and she’s still wide awake. Lord have mercy.

Tomorrow is for wives.
Let’s talk then

8 thoughts on “#August30series: beautiful people

  1. First off, this is a dilemma no wife wants to find herself in.

    I’m waiting on God for a child also, and I guess I would probably just run away for like two weeks and hide with my phone switched off, and no one knowing my location….and cry and cry and get heartbroken over the betrayal, before I start to deal with the issue.

    First thing I would then do is ask for a DNA test. Even if the child is a spitting image of my husband, I would still want to see scientific proof.
    If the test is positive, THAT is when I would start thinking of how to forgive him and accept the child. Forgiveness would not be easy, but for my relationship with God, it is essential. So I would have to LEARN to accept the betrayal and how to trust him again. Like she said, he slept with someone else two years ago, and kept mum about it……what else has he done that she doesn’t know?

    Accepting the child into her home won’t be easy…..that will be telling the world that her Christian godly husband has feet of clay, and their marriage wasn’t so perfect after all. *putting myself in her shoes*

    But……there is an innocent child involved, and as the child is just a little over a year old, the child can grow up knowing her as the only mother he or she has. That is where her own belief and values as a Christian would come in – her ability to take the child as her own & love her totally. That is what women do with their adopted children, and if she can get past her husband’s indiscretions and see the child as her adopted child then she is good to go.

    Would there be issues WHEN she gives birth to her own? Yes, if she allows them to arise. But if her biological kids know the child as their sibling, there would be none. Culturally, that is the first child of the husband so depending on their cultural laws, she would have to accept that.
    My best bet would be continually asking for advice from a woman who has adopted kids also. That would help.

    The second question about the child being a constant reminder of her husband’s infidelity. …..at first yes. But I believe it would later be relegated to the recesses of her heart, especially when she gets to love the baby and accept it as her own.

    If she doesn’t accept the baby…….some people would not blame her. Some would call her names. But everyone has their own capacity for different things. What if the late mother’s parents want to keep the child as they have lost their daughter? Another scenario to consider.

    Whatever decision she ultimately makes should not be rushed. And they both should go for counselling….lots of it. And she should be given time to come to terms with the situation.

    May God remember her and open her womb soon. THAT would help her heal!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. First of all, I don’t deny you’re heartbroken. I can only imagine how you feel. The man you thought was by your side did the unthinkable! It hurts, I know. But let’s think of the innocent one in this, the child. He didn’t make the choice to come to this world, all he needs now is love.
    It’ll be hard sis especially WHEN you have your own (see what I did there!) but let love conquer all.
    Lastly, you have to find a way to forgive your husband. Yes, he did wrong but let’s look at the facts. He didn’t tell you because he was (hopefully) ashamed of his actions and felt he could cover it up. It was wrong of him to conceal it but he knew he did wrong which led him to make the wrong decision to protect you. Also, he had no clue about the son so he’s also trying to come to terms with that just as you.
    Beyond all this, talk to the holy spirit, he’ll know what to do and comfort your heart.
    Sorry for the epistle, hope it helps.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Take the child and thank God for his blessing. Forgive your husband and move on, ask God for strength to constantly grow in his love. Will you sometimes hate the child ? Yes, but as you grow deeper in the understanding of God’s love , all that willl pass.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. This is really tight. I will accept the child not because my inlaws are requesting it but because God loves me and I am expected to show same love to others. This act could lead to open heavens, she could start having babies now. She should also go for Counselling and also ask for grace to forgive and forget.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. You have to learn the very act of forgiveness from the deepest part of your heart, look on the brighter side, you don’t need to look at the child and remember infidelity you could consciously chose to look at the child and see a a God who despite all we do still loves us unconditionally. Love your hubby like you’ve always done all these should be done consciously cos trust me it won’t be easy but with grace and more time spent in His Presence you will be fine. God bless you.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This is a tough one and a call to enlarge capacity.I thank God for Father in law but at this point there is a need for the decision to be made by Husband and wife without inferences from third party.
    First, there is a need for the husband to seek for forgiveness and to deeply apologize to wife and give her time to heal and to trust again.
    There is need to build her word life to gain more capacity and prayers for wisdom and healing.I have personally come to realize that motherhood isn’t only a biologically process, it’s more about who raised you.Hence she needs to raise above the hurt and despair, and choose to walk on the faith route knowing that God won’t leave her and forsake her hence she can take the baby and nurse him while she and husband makes a united decision to accept the innocent child and all that comes with having the child(because there might be a need to trace the maternal grandparents of the child).
    Above all, she should walk with God who will lead her and also help her to keep her covenant with her husband.This phrase will pass and your children will surround your table IJN.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. This is really serious, and I sympathize with this lady, adultery is one of the most hurtful things u can do to yr spouse. If she wants to stay, shs should just work on herself first. Soak yourself in God’s presence continuously, because she needs the healing. If she doesnt heal of the pain, it will affect her relationships and worst of all herself. I once heard a minister on tv say, “unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting it to affect the other person”. Not going to happen. Also she and her husband ned to rebuild trust, which means he must be genuinely repentant. He should know that keepin sth like that in the dark makes him untrustworthy
    Finally she should see that child as a gift from God, not a product of infidelity. Regardless of how he came, God’s Word says ‘children are a heritage from the Lord’. Even tho it may seem like he’s a reminder of ur hubby’s infidelity, he can also be a blessing in disguise; see that child the way God sees him, u never know how much of a blessing to u he can become. God has a way of turning such situations into amazing testimonies, if u will just trust in Him. I know all of this wont be easy, so dont trust in yr power, just immerse yourself continually in God’s presence and u will find the strength. If u know who God is, u will know that He doesnt let some test come ur way for no reason; He will bring out something great outta this. God bless u

    Like

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