I’m sorry for the silence.
To make up for it though you get three posts in one.
Today I’m thankful….
Yes it’s been a hard past few days…
Yes I’ve cried a lot in the last few days…
Yes I’ve been very sad…. then angry…then tired…just very tired but….Today, I’m thankful.
I’m thankful that he was in my world… that he passed through here… even if for just a few minutes.
I still remember just like it was yesterday the first time I met Eric. It was rather uneventful but it left such an impression on me.
It must have been 9 years ago on a sponsored trip to Kenya for the finals of East African idols. I was on that trip as Isioma CHIJIDE as my passport was still in my maiden name at the time. Eric and Omawunmi were billed to perform on that trip. I happened to be on the same bus that took us to our hotel. Obviously at that time I was trusting God for the fruit of the womb and for some funny reason my tummy was big. So he asked very sweetly if I was pregnant and I said yes (because faith calls those things that be not as though they were) and he was just sweet and caring and when I bumped into him on the trip he would ask if I had eaten, how I was… I mean I never knew the guy before that and I wasn’t sure we would ever meet again but I kept thinking “fine boy with good heart very rare”.
Fast forward to many years later when pita became a part of my life. He would always tell me about his friend Eric. The guy was practically his closest friend. I found out it was the same Eric and I wasn’t surprised to hear he was such a great guy as I had experienced it first hand in Kenya.
2012 came and Onos came to see me about doing her concert at our church on the mainland. I had just met her and I loved her instantly. We agreed on dates but I never asked her about her lineup of ministers. So on the day I saw Eric again from a distance. Unfortunately I came in a bit late so I missed hearing him minister. Towards the end of the meeting Onos asked me to bless the offering so as I got up and encouraged people to give, I noticed Eric was gisting with someone I don’t remember who now but I remember throwing shade at him right there I actually called his name. He looked shocked because he didn’t know who I was. remember I was just some random “pregnant” woman on that trip not Pastor Mildred.
Anyway after the meeting I saw him with pita and went to apologize cos I know it must have been embarrassing to be called out like that in front of everyone even though it was a joke. I mean after all he was a celebrity.
“I’m sorry about before. Hope say you no vex” I said “na play o!”
“Me?! Vex? How na?” Then he turns to pita “you no tell her?” Turns back to me with an “I no be like that o! Sha just invite me then we go settle”. We both laughed then.
I didn’t see much of Eric again after that. Only the occasional bumping into him once once until 2016 just last year when I began planning for When Women Worship 2016 – Amaghimo. I felt in my heart that it was time to bring Eric to church officially. I had two names laid on my heart -Eric Arubayi and Mairo Ese. My team and I felt we needed to add a female minister to balance things out and there began the drama.
First someone said to me, I don’t think Eric will work o! He’s not a strong worshipper. World people!!! I sha stuck with what God had said and oh! Was I ever so glad I did. Eric brought down the glory at the mainland Centre!
Eric would call to check up on me and accuse me of not inviting him more. “I de count am o! Some people don come three times.” But you knew it was all a joke, all in love, never with malice.
“Eric you wey be celebrity. Fear no let me de invite you anyhow”
“Celebrity for God?! Abeg invite me o! Na even mainland I like sef. These island people I don tire for them. Too much forming.”
A lot of “music ministers” I know come with a lot of drama before you finish inviting them “manager” matter don enter. You will know it’s just gospel for them because they can’t compete with the secular guys so gospel music is safe to do. Unfortunately they carry the secular attitude into the kingdom. When they give you bill you begin to wonder if it is this same Jesus that died for free they are singing for. In fact let me not get started on this matter…. this is about Eric.
He’s not dead. He travelled. Unfortunately he doesn’t get a visa to come back here till Jesus is ready to come get us. Then… Eric gets to come back. Till then, we can only thank God that He left us a sound….
And as I said on my IG post if I hear….
“Mama I de come, make I jus reach that side…”
my answer remains the same …
“okay, later na. We go see…”
And so this Eric matter got me thinking…
Is all the fighting in marriage really worth it?
I remember a scene from the movie, Why Did I Get Married too? And I remember the character played by Janet Jackson was in a divorce battle with her husband and on the day she went to his office to fight with him. After she made a scene, he got so mad and drove off. In a split second another car ran into him and it was over… he was gone.
No more fights, no room to make amends, no second chances …
If the last words you spoke to your husband this morning were the last words he would ever hear from you, would you be happy?
Now please note. This is not written to invoke fear in you because I know that God has promised us long life and your husband will not die
but I need us to think. If we learn to think we will do better.
Still gives me butterflies in my tummy. Makes me feel like even 100 years with him is too short.
…and even I know I don’t get that much.
So if you’re being truthful with yourself if you knew today was the last day you would ever see that man would all he’s doing now really matter?
- Would his snoring at night be so annoying? Would you rather silence and a cold empty bed?
- Would his dropping his clothes all over the floor be really so annoying? Would you rather a tidy but empty house?
- Would his not paying the rent on time be so infuriating? Would you rather pay it alone and on time?
- Would his coming home late make you so mad if the option was him not coming home at all?
So agreed he doesn’t help you with the kids? He doesn’t appreciate what you do for him? Do them anyway…
Let’s stop fighting ladies!
Here’s my policy:
- Don’t go to bed angry. Whatever the issue resolve it that day. If not it has entered voicemail and must be forgiven.
- Practice Advance Forgiveness. Even when you don’t feel he’s sorry. Even when he hasn’t apologized. Do this for yourself; Forgive anyway. Set your heart free. Treat it like it never happened. This one is very hard though but I find that the more I do it the easier it gets.
- No carry overs. Treat every day like a fresh one. Don’t bring yesterday’s grudges into today’s graces. Don’t do it no matter how tempting. Don’t deal with your spouse on the basis of what he did to you yesterday. Move on already!
So ladies let’s just all try to get along and treat each day as if it were the last even if it isn’t.
A lot will be happening there especially…
So tomorrow is going to be very exciting.
Also because I know a lot of wives are in a weary place. Tomorrow is also a day of refreshing so we have a full on worship service before PK comes up to discuss carnal things.
Will all be ministering. Can you really afford to miss this?
Don’t forget to spread the word. I advice you to come on time. It won’t be recorded so don’t miss it.
See you tomorrow. Don’t forget let’s make every moment count…while we still can.
Of course I’m not leaving you out. Something for you too.
First let me say again that I’m sorry. I noticed a lot of people checked in last week and the next day. All that is yesterday’s news though.
So today let’s talk talk about
A Clean House
Trust me if that was all it took, a lot of women would turn to cleaning ladies.
You need to treat your body as important. Too many people are focused on TTC and running around looking for prayers and prophecies but we rarely every focus on the vehicle God will use to bring the answer to the prayer.
Some things we really need to clean out are :
- Worry– worry never changed anything and never helped anyone. Worry and faith don’t stay in the same room and faith is important because without faith it is impossible… so you need to totally clean it out by trusting in God completely.
- Envy– one of the things you get to deal with in the waiting period is envy. Sadly most times it creeps up on you. You need to be deliberate about this. Once you feel it rearing its ugly head get your broom and dustpan out and sweep it out quickly. If you hear someone had a baby rather than think that should be me, go out there and buy her a gift. The easiest way to stop the green eyed monster is to celebrate with others when good happens for them.
- Bitterness– As the name implies it is a bitter emotion. Usually a residue of all other painful emotions.
- Self pity -oh! This one is so major. The “why me lord? Why me?” Syndrome. Feeling like you don’t deserve this? Well, darling then who does? If not you then why anyone else? I hear it every day “pastor M, I kept myself. I didn’t live a wayward life. No abortions. Nothing but look at so and so that did five abortions is a mother today. What did I do to God?” You must understand that God is not moved by what you do or do not do. You don’t come to him on the basis of your works. Nothing you do can change who God is; He is merciful to both sinner and saint. . When you realize that God loves you and will only do you good then you will stop the self pity. This is simply a test and God knows you can pass it that’s why he allowed it come your way. So stop feeling sorry for yourself and find someone else to bless.
- Anger– An emotion you must never toy with. I know women who have lost babies because they got into a fight as an expression of anger. Miscarriages because of anger. Babies aborted out of hot wombs due to hot temper. Don’t give it a moment. Clean it out fast!!! Anger is such a dangerous emotion. No one is saying don’t get angry but don’t do anything you will regret.
- Strife– malice, evil speaking, “beef”, all manner of strife needs to be cleaned out immediately. A miracle and strife cannot survive together. Babies love peace. Any one who has done you wrong forgive them. Don’t worry Hod will fight for you. . I still remember the year before I got married was the year I had to deal with the highest betrayal of my life from a very close friend. I learnt to forgive and let go of the pain and betrayal. I cleaned out every bit of strife in my heart. I had her picture in my bible so I would take it out and pray for her everyday. No not that God should punish her or vindicate me. No nothing of the sort. I prayed for her to be blessed, to prosper, to be protected, to be forgiven, for all her dreams to come true… I prayed till I genuinely loved her again.
- Joy – No matter what pain you are going through in this season, find your joy. Dont take joy lightly at all. You must learn to maintain your joy. Don’t trade it for anything. The joy of the lord is our strength. We cannot draw from the wells of salvation without being joyful. It is with joy that we get what can save us -from pain, regret, barrenness, etc. . So we can deduce from this scripture that it is only when we are joyful we can get the babies God has promised us.
I’ll be back next week
Until then be in faith darlings by keeping a clean house.