One Thing…

Hello ladies …valiant queens !

I’m so excited about this new move of God. Something spectacular happened to me this week but I guess I will share some other time but it was a confirmation of Wednesdays is for Wives.  Nothing as beautiful as knowing God is holding your hand and that He’s helping you 

So Like I said last week one of the biggest things I wished I had as a new bride was mentoring. Yes there were a lot of messages on what to do as a single to make sure you married right and that is so important because as I always say the biggest gift you can give yourself is to marry well. 

I always knew one day that I would make that decision. I knew that I would find the kind of man that Thought I was perfect for him and he would be (at least in my eyes) the best thing that ever happened to me but my fear was would we stay that way always? Would we be happy together forever?

Because there was so much instruction for the single girl and just a few materials I could find telling me how to be a wife or in my case a minister’s wife,  I didn’t have the strength to keep making mistakes and learning from them. 

So I asked God for the one thing I had to know and put in place to guarantee me a happy home. What we both had to do though but I wanted to focus on my own assignment and He told me hebrews 5:33 clearly 

So I started searching and trying to find ways to obey this “simple”  instruction. I searched different versions of the Bible highlighted, meditated, wrote it out, copied it again till I could come up with practical ways to do this one thing that I felt God was asking me to do. I learnt to do it in creative ways 

And I’ve had a really good marriage. A very happy, interesting and exciting one. I’ve grown in ways I could never imagine. My husband is gentle yet firm. Pampers me more than he spoils me though but he’s totally amazing and I would NEVER NEVER EVER trade him for another. 

And submitting to him has been easier because I love him. 

However if I say that submission is my absolute one thing then I would be lying to you. This secret of submission that God gave me was a result of the one thing that I did and that is my absolute most important one thing. 

I learnt it from David. He had a habit that changed his life and made him victorious. And if we are going to be virtuous, valiant and victorious wives then we must learn the secrets of victorious people. David had one major secret. He had his one thing that made sure he never missed. 

 David inquired of the Lord. 

The Bible tells us that A wise woman builds her home. Trust me there  is only one place to get the kind of wisdom you need in marriage. 

If any lacks wisdom let him ask …let him inquire 

Listen to me no one is married to your husband but you. I would like to say all men are the same but it’s not true. 

I learnt this one very early in marriage. 

I heard people say if you want something from your husband then cook him his favorite meal. My sister, my husband will eat it, lick the plate, “clean mouth” like they say in Nigeria and still tell you a big fat No!!! 

Some say buy sexy lingerie and fulfill all his sexual fantasies then there’s no way he’s giving you a No!!! My sister the No!!! That my husband will tell me is doing press ups. 

Treat him nice. Call him sir. Do whatever he says … my sisters I do that anyway so whenever I overdo it he becomes suspicious and wary of me 

However, if I simply inquire 

  1. If it is something that I should desire?
  2. If it is good for me? Is it good for me NOW? 
  3. If it will have a good outcome?
  4. If I should even bring it up with my husband?
  5. If my husband should be the channel I get it through? Or believe for it some other way?
  6. How and when should I ask him if he is the channel? 

Usually God gives me full download but if he doesn’t I learn to trust the process and if my husband says No and it hurts I simply use it to build my character by learning to love even when I don’t have my way. 

So basically what I’m trying to say to you is basically what Jesus said to Martha in Luke 10. Read it. 

Martha must have tried to do so much. Just like you she must have Tried to be perfect wife, perfect mother, boss at work, godmother, daughter to parents, worker in church just name it…but Jesus said only one thing really matters. 

If you can get this, everything else will work. That alone time. No matter how busy you are, make time for Jesus. 

Trust me at the end of the day that’s the biggest edge in marriage that you have  -God in your marriage. 

You cannot and I repeat CANNOT be a successful wife, mother, career or business woman and not lose yourself without God’s help. Without losing your mind or one suffering for the other. Do yourself a favour 

You need God. You need the Holy Spirit to  help you. You need to be able to inquire from him constantly. Some times, you will know what to do but at other times you will literally be frustrated. And at those times it’s in inquiring…in sitting at his feet… that’s what gets you through it.  

You need alone with God time. If you hope to find some kind of balance then you need to place everything on The Solid Rock.


If no one tells you this we are doing you an absolute injustice. You cannot do this effectively without having your very own “me time” with Jesus. Oh! No you can’t. 

So if I’m sharing my first secret to having, being and doing it all it has to be spending time with God. 

Once you get that right, spending time in his presence, asking questions, learning from him, every other thing starts to fall in place. Once your heart is in the right place your actions will follow. You will just know what to do, how to live, how to be a better wife and mother. You will draw strength to be all you need to be. You will operate from a place of peace. A place of SHALOM where nothing is missing and nothing is broken. 

You will stop being so frazzled, irritated and overwhelmed. Interesting YOU WERE NOT CREATED TO LOOK FOR REST, YOU WERE CREATED TO OPERATE FROM REST. 

The  CHAYIL woman in proverbs 31 understood this and she had the same secret …

Bottom line ladies YOU CANNOT DO THIS WITHOUT GOD!!! 

Okay ladies come back next week let’s keep at this till we are fully what the Jews call virtuous 

This is your picture in a few short months. 

Love you 😘 

21 thoughts on “One Thing…

  1. Dang dang dang on every danging level!!!
    I still recall getting this counsel from someone I absolutely respect on how to handle something at home. When she told me, I felt hmm I can do that even tho hard. At least I wouldn’t rock the boat and peace would reign. I got home and God told me expressly not to try it. That if I did, I would be suppressing how I truly felt and it will bubble up later in a terrible way. And then God highlighted my season, and her’s and showed me the differences. So it worked for her but it would bounce for me
    Sadly, my own way required confrontation with wisdom and respect.
    And I did.
    Oh my gosh, that set the foundation for the next level in my marriage cos Bolaji totally understood and has stayed understanding till now.
    God is so amazing. He is not a one size fits all. He wants to deal with us as unique children and wives.
    I couldn’t do this wife biz without Him and i’m super thankful that He holds my hand every step of the way. Nothing like a led-wife. Absolutely nothing.

    Now I can NOT wait for your devotional for wives.

    Super excited!!!

    I’m loving Wednesdays mehn!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your own way- confrontation with wisdom and respect. I love how God gives detailed instruction. Which is why I truly believe that only God can truly help you marry YOUR husband well.

      Lol! The devotional has somehow turned more into a prayer journal than a devotional. Let’s see why God will do … I’m loving Wednesdays too

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes me .It is always easier to do things with instructions from God.I am learning that daily.I am not where I want to be yet but I am definitely not where I used to be.Amen to being a better wife at the end of the year.Thank you ma for giving to the Lord.


    1. God just used you to confirm the lesson I am learning. People’s well meaning advise even though they have been married for years does not always work. God has the plan for my own marriage and His guide is the best


  3. I’m not married yet but you can’t tell how much this blessed me! Now that I’m still single, I can apply this lessons of inquiring from the Lord in other areas of my life. Mama, can I have your mail? I have a very interesting testimony I’d love to share with you! This God of DCC knows how to give victories with so much swag attached to it!


  4. God just used you to confirm the lesson I am learning. People’s well meaning advise even though they have been married for years does not always work. God has the plan for my own marriage and His guide is the best


  5. thank you so much Mama. hmmm, i remember when i needed to remedy a ‘funny situation’ i caused out of my having it my way behavior with my husband and God told me what to do, it was really hard though (cos every part of my flesh was screaming a big No) but with the help of the Holy Spirit I did it. I was so so so glad I did it cos the result was super amazing……lol. Allow God to lead you as you take every step as a wife…..Led-wife, Happy wife. I am so loving Wednesdays. Mama, God bless you so much.


  6. So insightful. God help me build my marriage on a solid foundation with you at the center. Thank you so much pastor M. God bless you.


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