Okay, so I’m sure you guessed my last post wasn’t planned. It actually shouldn’t have been #3 in the #USseries…
Actually it shouldn’t have been… period!
Was really sad so i had to put this post on hold to send a word of comfort to my dear hurting sisters.
However, today I’m more upbeat. I started this post early this morning then my Pk sends me a message, “just landed atlanta see you soon.”
So of course the post had to be on hold. I’m up and in the kitchen in a flash. shrimp Fried rice and chicken….check.
Banga soup with all sorts of obstructions….check.
What I’m wearing….check.
Okay so I’m all giggles and all kinds of happy.
I really feel like a young girl expecting her boyfriend. Well he is my boyfriend in a way. My boyfriend of 10 years. That’s when I got the idea for this post. I hope I can finish soon because I’m heading to the airport in a bit if not then… Later guys. Please bear with me.
So, I think everyman needs a girlfriend. Or should I say everyman wants a girlfriend? No! I think the best way to say it is, Every man will have a girlfriend…errrrr………eh ehn *shaking my head vigorously*, it’s not quite coming out the right way. Some world people will misquote me now.
Okay so maybe I should do it this way first then you will understand the point I’m trying to make. There’s this story in the bible that I can’t seem to get over. It’s in Esther 1. It’s a long read but follow me please.
Anyway long story short Esther was brought in to replace Queen Vashti and the moral of the story is :
My point is not that as a man you should divorce your wife. Trust me you don’t need a new spouse. Or that you should go out and find a girlfriend. Oh! Lord! No!!!! This is more to you dear ladies especially christian wives. Hmmm…should I even get started on this one? I’m not even sure I have the energy today….errrrr…
Nope! I think I do.
So, christian wives, this is for you: “Make it easy for your husband to obey God!” I know you will say that’s his responsibility after all look at our godly lineage, Job said I have made a covenant with my eyes why then should I look upon a maiden? He took responsibility or should we talk about Joseph? He fled leaving his coat behind when Portiphar’s wife tried to seduce him. he said how can I do this great wickedness and sin against God so he knew it was between him and God so my husband knows it’s not about me but about God…..and blah blah blah…
I salute you. This is where I will see your preaching power. Sinners on the road you won’t lead to Christ o! You will be there proving point and be stressing the young christian man who even though he wants to love you and be faithful to you, it’s actually more of a chore. Almost like a cross he has to bear because He loves Jesus and “unfortunately” because he’s saddled with one of his daughters he has to work up all the love of God that has been shed abroad in his heart to stick to you.
Ladies, don’t take the good man in your life for granted. Trust me there are many women who are wishing they had your life because they are married to the devil himself.
There are many reckless men out there so if you got one of the good ones then celebrate him, pamper him, love up on him, be his girlfriend.
When I say there are some reckless men I mean just that. I was just thinking a few days ago about a dear friend. How marrying a reckless man has affected her life. The guy got her pregnant as a teenager (reckless) married her in court and after some years and three kids, he’s done. Packs his bags and just leaves (reckless) then finds a way to forcefully take the kids and changes their names (reckless) finally without divorcing her I hear he’s getting married again this time traditionally (Reckless! Reckless!! Reckless!!!)
How do you just mess up someone’s life and like it’s not working for you anymore just pack up and move on not bothering where that leaves the other person. Me? I just tire.
I repeat if you are blessed with one of the good ones, I don’t care what people say, CELEBRATE HIM, PAMPER HIM, LOVE UP ON HIM. BE HIS GIRLFRIEND.
How? Simple. Let’s look at “the girlfriend”. What are the qualities of these breed that attract sugar daddies. Hey don’t get me wrong. There’s no moral or scriptural justification for someone being a “kept woman” but even the bible suggests that we don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. So if there’s anything we can learn, then let’s.
So here goes
1. RESPECT – celebrate him. Talk to him politely. Make him FEEL respected. Never take him for granted. He must always be your priority and he must know it. Look at the “girlfriend” she gets a call from “sugar daddy ” and what does she do? She drops everything she’s doing to be with him. Which takes me to my next point.
2. BE AVAILABLE – don’t let anything get in the way of your giving him attention. Don’t just be around him. Be with him, talk to him, find out what he wants and be available to respond to his needs. Love him the way he wants to be loved not the way you think he should be loved. I made this mistake for a long time. I thought cooking his meals myself and serving him were what made me a good wife at least that’s what I was taught. Until my husband said to me recently I didn’t marry you for errands. It’s the detail you put into getting my vision to come to life. The ministry ideas you bring. The fact that I can talk to you about anything and know you get me that’s what assures me everytime that I chose right. I still cook sha o because even though he claims he didnt marry me for hat he complains when he has to eat other people’s food! But I know it’s not major for him.
3. NOTICE HIM – pay attention to him. If his mood changes, honey you should be the first to know. Find out what he’s thinking, what he’s believing for; if anything is stressing him at work, etc. Listen to him. Let him talk. Be a listening ear without judging him,nagging him or correcting him all the time.
4. GIVE HIM SPACE- sometimes he needs “man time”. Let him be. A lot of us as wives don’t get this. That’s not the time to nag him, or complain about your own issues. Honestly, it’s easy to forget that you are two in the marriage especially if you are constantly on the receiving end of the marriage. Let him have his space and then when he’s ready for you revert to No2 – be available.
5. SEX- some things just can’t be over emphasised. If you are a married woman and demand is higher than supply then you definitely need to up your girlfriend game. Every man wants and needs sex. It may not be all the time (good luck finding that type) But it must be often and as exciting as possible. Even if you have to initiate. I think if you initiate it’s even better. Please don’t hide behind “I have a head ache” or “I’m pregnant” (unless of course your doctor advices against it expressly) But if not, then aunty you said “I do!” please do!!! Once “sugar daddy” calls “girlfriend” knows there must be two things available FOOD and SEX (selah)
6. LOOK GOOD – all this tying wrapper on your chest and rubbing dusting powder on your face is not helping anybody. You are on leave or a home maker and when oga was going to work in the morning he left with an image of you in hair net, wrapper on the chest and dusting powder or nixoderm on the face. He’s back from work the only thing that has changed is the fact that you have washed your face. Aunty help us to help you na. Try a little. Get a few shorts and tank tops worst case. Or simple dresses. My point is make an effort. Give him something to look forward to. Put a little sexy back in the home.
7. NEVER FIGHT THE COMPETITION – yep! Sounds crazy right? But that’s a major secret “girlfriends” know. A.K.A maintain your champion. Don’t fight the other things that take his attention. Girlfriend will never fight wife (hey! You know what I mean) the idea is there are some constants in your husband’s life. Some you met on ground before you got in the picture. Don’t fight! Let them have their space in his heart just make yourself unforgettable.
Me I battle many “loves” in my husband’s life. I jokingly called them his girlfriends. Funny enough I met all of them on ground so I’ve learned not to fight. Sometimes sef I just use them to my advantage and gain more points for myself. I’m putting myself in the middle. I’m a part of their love affair that way he can’t forget me. Anytime he thinks of them I somehow pop up.
My husband loves ministry and ministering to people
so even though I’m naturally shy and would love to be in the background this is what you will see me do.
Lol! I have some of the funniest expressions when I preach. Like “satan see you can’t try me o! Let me just tell you” lol!
My husband loves football
so this is what I do…
I simply tag along to go and see a live match
Do u see the bump yet? 🙂
My husband loves power bikes
So what do I do? Simply grab a helmet, pray in tongues and hop on for long rides.
Had to put up one without the helmet so you would believe it’s me. Lol!
My husband loves cars. His new romance is with convertible sports cars
So what do I do? I pray and believe God that He gets one soon so he can stop talking about it….lol! Thought I was going to say I buy him one? Lol! I’m not there yet o! But I believe one day….
There are quite a few of these “other women” in his life but I’ve learned to live with them. At least most of them.
Still not a fan of animals and he just absolutely loves them. Left to him we can have a zoo at our backyard. Still dreaming about having a lion while psyching me to let us have dogs again. Still doing shakara and saying no but once it gets down to it, I’d pick a dog over a lion any day and trust me he can make the lion thing happen so I’m treading softly. Don’t tell him I’m softening sha. Lol!
Okay guys so I hope this helps you spice up your marriage. This post is actually like 5 days late because I needed to make myself available. You get my drift? Besides yesterday made it 10 years since this my amazing man whom I will celebrate for the rest of my life, paid my bride price.
I love you baby.
Oya don’t beef celebrate your own and if you are still single then I rejoice with you because you still have a chance to pick a man worth celebrating.