…..better with Jesus

This wasn’t the way I planned to start my blogging experience in 2015.

This wasn’t even how I planned today.

If truth be told I didn’t even give today much thought. I planned it would be a very lazy Monday…that I would sleep in till noon then have a very heavy brunch….if my tummy would permit.

Then I would literally suspend my mind till Tuesday morning when I would have no choice but to resume all my duties. I planned to let my phone ring all day, and ignore all pings and emails…

But Monday the 9th day of February 2015 refused to cooperate with me.

Refused to cooperate with me?! That’s putting it mildly. It totally turned my day….my life….our lives around.

My phone started my day…..ringing and ringing and ringing. Almost as if to say I dare you not to pick up.  So pick up I did…but I wish I didn’t.

“Nonye don go o!”
….was all I heard on the other end. All I kept saying was “Jesus is Lord! Jesus is Lord! Jesus is Lord!” over and over again and for some funny reason I felt like if I didn’t keep rubbing my chest that my heart would pop out of my chest and shatter into a thousand little pieces.

You see Nonye is my little niece, my first goddaughter, my big brother’s “ada”. ChukwuNonyelum Nicole Ezinwa Chijide was a survivor. She wasn’t even 5 years old yet but In the few years we were blessed with Nonye, she taught me one major lesson….

No matter what you go through in life, keep smiling.

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She never walked, couldn’t talk, struggled to eat, never got to crawl or run around and play but she always had that smile…

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Everytime her dad would walk into a room, I saw that look, that smile, that proved to me that the flesh can never limit the Spirit.

When I heard nonye was gone, my first reaction was to be sad. Sad that she was gone but more for her mother because no mother should be faced with the horrors of burying a child.

Sad for my brother because I know how close he was to his only daughter, because I know he had done everything a father and a doctor could do.

Sad for my parents because I Knew they wouldn’t handle it well.

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Sad because I truly believed Nonye would walk and that she would say “daddy” and that I would once again tell the devil “ntoi”

Before I could actually settle into the sadness, the Holy Spirit whispered three words to me….”better with Jesus”

That consoled me because for some funny reason I can’t get this picture of Nonye jumping on bouncy castles made of clouds, swinging from angels’ wingtips, and nonye laughing that her deep belly laugh while screaming in delight as she runs to play catch with Jesus out of my head. I honestly can’t shake it off.

…and honestly I don’t want to.

I know she’s better with Jesus.
We will miss you my darling but I know when we finally get to heaven, you will be there to greet us and show your daddy around….and he will finally get to hear you say DADDY I LOVE YOU….in words

P:S
Give Jesus a big hug for me.

19 thoughts on “…..better with Jesus

  1. Wow! She’s happier there with Jesus……life is always better with Jesus. God will grant your family the strength to move on and many blessings await them.

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  2. This literally brought tears to my eyes, I never met her but reading this post made me kinda feel her energy but I’m glad for this one thing, …..she’s better with Jesus !!!

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  3. I remember holding her in my arms while we waited for her nanny to come feed her and changing her diaper in children’s church. I truly believed that I would hear her talk someday and hav to run after her. Peaceful, sweet nonye! Adios my baby. I am not as strong as u mama. Been struggling with the tears and mood swing since yday!. Ok..asta lavista baby! Temporary seperation it is…

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  4. It is a terrible feeling having a miscarriage. It Is worse having a still birth. It is unthinkable losing a child.
    God will give you & yours EVERYTHING you need to get through indeed.

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  5. MAY her gentle soul rest in perfect peace. U have said it all aunty. Better with Christ.
    The picture you have of her in heaven will not shake off . Amen

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  6. Aww..such a bright smile sure u will miss that angelic smile..her smile lingers on in heaven where they smile and rejoice forever. Rest in the bossom of Jesus sweet Nonye.

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