Is this a test?

Hi guys
Just leaving RUSH HOUR FELLOWSHIP. Had such an awesome time tonight.

Okay so before I forget that it’s Tuesday and get into trouble with all my cheerleaders. Here’s dilemma Tuesday. For those who don’t know what dilemma Tuesday is, it’s your chance to experience the counseling part of pastoring. I bring you real life issues that people have and you get a chance to give your own two kobo πŸ˜‰ and when I’m in a benevolent mood like this week best 3 comments win a prize

Dear pastor Mildred
My fiance and I have been having issues. He hasn’t called me in weeks and whenever I call him he says he’s been busy that’s why he’s not calling me anymore. However a mutual friend told me he says he’s observing me to see if he really wants to be with me.

He hadn’t called in over a week so I called to say hello. I asked how he was and he said he’s fine but been very busy and that its a good thing I called because he needs money to invest in a business opportunity that just came up. He wanted me to raise him 100k. Ma, the thing is I’m a student who is paying her way through school. The only money I have currently is for my school fees. I asked when the money would be returned and he said he wasn’t sure but when I pressed he gave me a date past my school fees deadline.

I suggested that he loan the money from a friend and he said he may not be able to pay back on the date the person was giving to him. But he asked me to borrow the money instead and he would refund it. The thing is he’s called me about three times already this morning asking if I really want him to lose the business deal.

Now I don’t know should I give him my school fees? Should I borrow for him? Also ma what if this is just a test? What if I lose him?

Please help ma

Okay guys there you go. Let’s hear what you have to say. Help a sister out.

35 thoughts on “Is this a test?

  1. It might not be a test. He really might be in need. However, placing such pressure on you isn’t fair. When he knows your situation. Unless you have given him reasons in the past to think you make enough money to support yourself and have some change left over.
    Your response now, IMHO, depends on his financial attitude towards you in the past. If he has proved himself to not be an infidel, then from whatever source you make your school fees, you shd be able to raise something for him, even if it’s not the entire sum he requested. But if he has not been giving to you, my dear, he has no moral right to “test” you.
    This kain Abraham and Isaac situation sef! Please remind him that he’s not God oh.

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  2. First of all my dear, you have to renew your mind that you are the PRIZE not the PRICE for any man (Proverbs 18:22), I believe that will enable you make a rational and wise decision without the fear of losing him or passing a test. Your education is important and very much so when you are paying your way through school yourself. If he is a reliable and trustworthy fellow, surely he must have friends who will be willing to lend him that money. And in the case of borrowing money for him, my dear, Proverbs 22:26 says it all. My prayer for you is that God gives you the wisdom to make the right choice. You are precious and beautiful in God’s eyes and a man that loves you will not test you and will make time to call you and invest in your future.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Please! please!! please!!! Don’t think about it twice, don’t given him the money o o o . I don’t have time for long grammar but the only thing I want to say is that you should LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOUR AS YOURSELF NOT MORE THAN YOURSELF. Don’t joke with your future and don’t compromise cos you want to be in a relationship with the guy. Cheers

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  4. My dear theres no business deal at stake here. He knows u cant afford this loan n hes looking for a way to end d relationship by putting u under financial pressure and blaming u for not being there for him in time of need.youre a strong , ambitious n hard working girl to pay ur way tru school. Dont let any man make u feel non competent. it was in d days of old u had to go long distances to d phone booth n queue up to make hurried calls to loved ones. Most gsm operators offer free calls n sms dats enough for any so called busy and broke guy to beep you n show concern for ur welfare. Hes so busy n still so broke.so wat part of his life is to endear u to him.My dear focus on ur studies, pay ur fees n enjoy ur spinsterhood while it lasts. Dont be in a hurry to stretch ur finances and emotions thin for someone who doesnt care abt u.fail his hostile test n moveon. I can assure you , you have a lifetime in marriage to be ur husbands cash reserve ratio n ur childrens ATM machine. by Gods grace they will appreciate u with a lot of love which is fulfilling beyond compare.

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    1. My dear, according to your explanation u said he hasnt called you in weeks and you always do the calling and each time you call he tells you he is been busy. He is always been too busy to call you or text you. My dear you also said he has friends that can raise him the money but he is not sure if he will meet their dead line. What if he doesn’t return your school fees on time or he never does. Besides I don’t think he has any right to put you in this confussing state because I am sure he knows that your are paying your way through school. My advice to you is what Pst K always says, “any money u borrow some1 that you can’t dash the person when he eventually pays or doesn’t pay don’t give it out”. Pls my dear it is not comporisory that you will raise him the whole 100k. Give him what you know you can afford to and let him look for the rest. May God lead and guide you to know when he is playing or testing you.

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    1. hmn. he was too busy to call some days ago and now he calls 3 times. my sister, help yasef and ya ministry and “strollo”. for him to pressure you to giv him ur school fees knowing he cant repay b4 deadline means he is self preserving. omo mehn, like dey say in my office “Transaction is declined” Customers repayment ability is in doubt. Bless u Pm. 30 days challenge is achievable. despite ur busy busy busy busy schedule. loyal to ur ministry ma. Love u. and rush hour fellowship was hawtttt

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  5. hmn. he was too busy to call some days ago and now he calls 3 times. my sister, help yasef and ya ministry and “strollo”. for him to pressure you to giv him ur school fees knowing he cant repay b4 deadline means he is self preserving. omo mehn, like dey say in my office “Transaction is declined” Customers repayment ability is in doubt. Bless u Pm. 30 days challenge is achievable. despite ur busy busy busy busy schedule. loyal to ur ministry ma. Love u. and rush hour fellowship was hawtttt

    Liked by 1 person

  6. My dear.. The Bible says.. ‘Where a Man’s treasure is,there also will his heart be’. He claims to be busy all this while & today he has called u 3 times because if Money! My dear.. RUN!!! The heart is not a toy that someone can play with in the name of ‘Test’ there is no test in this as far as I’m concerned,that guy is desperate & he’s gonna do anything just to satisfy his desires,even if its Donna cost u ur Education. Trust me this isn’t e kind of Man ‘Leader’ u want to Head ur home.

    Love is Patient,Love is not Selfish!

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  7. Good Morning ma,Thank you for this privilege. This guy does not care about you. Why? He does not call you and when ever he calls is to ask u for money knowing you are just a student that is even paying her way through school.that guy does not like you. Please don’t waste your youth on him,why must he test you with money.he doesnt even care if u borrow as long as his needs is met,that guy is selfish,he is just taking advantage of your love for him.there is a better man for you,just ask God this time,don’t just decide base on your feelings.

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  8. This age of too much ‘nollywood’ drama on top love. *in my 4 year old daughter’s voice* ‘This is not werking’. Too many red flags. Pay your tuition and face your studies, so you can graduate with a first class while committing yourself to God’s work in your campus fellowship…A MAN (mark my words…A MAN…not a boy) after God’s heart that will make out time to call you, court you decently/respectfully and not put you under undue pressure when he knows your situation will come for you.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. I am trying to wrap my head around “testing you”, because I don’t understand how a man that loves you would intentionally stay away from you and not even communicate with you electronically – all in the name of a test. Could that be a pointer that he doesn’t really trust you and is insecure in your relationship and you may just be too? Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with such man? There’s this weird saying that if he doesn’t have your time, you’re definitely the ‘side-chic’. #JustSaying

    Ok, so maybe truly, he actually is in need. Anyone who remembers you mainly because he or she needs you, fiance or not, does not care about you and is definitely using you. Let’s look at the facts here – It was when YOU called HIM that he remembered you existed as a possible ATM machine; and now, someone who didn’t have the time to call you ONCE in WEEKS has called you THREE times in ONE MORNING!!! My sister, that’s foul play ooo. Also, if he doesn’t have any friend / group of friends that can help him raise the money, that may just go to say that he hasn’t managed his friend(relation)ships well or he doesn’t have the right kind of friends. Show me your friend and… (you can complete it).

    On the other hand, let’s assume it is actually a sincere test (I don’t think it is sha), you need to consider a few things like – how well do you trust him with money? Does he manage his finances well? How much has he given / sacrificed for you in the past? Are you sure he really loves you? Ask yourself very candidly and objectively, if you were in a situation, would he care enough to sacrifice or even check up on how’re faring? You’re student, and he’s in business, right? So he should be the one helping you as you pay your way through school.

    You’re a crown and should be desired as such by a real ‘kingly’ man (pardon the grammar), not being tested unnecessarily. Remember that even in Abraham’s Isaac-test with God, Abraham was already in a covenant with God and Isaac was a gift from God to him. So his obedience was in line with that covenant. You, on the other hand, are still engaged i.e. you aren’t in a covenant with him yet.

    Please be wise, my dear and don’t give up on you / your aspirations. If you feel you have some spare cash (i.e. something you can afford to give him and won’t be very hurt if it is not returned), you may give him. But if you don’t have now, feel free to tell him that you cannot afford to help him at the moment, as your schooling is just as important as his business deal. If he takes a walk, good riddance – you surely deserve better.

    Cheers!

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Oh so Busy.
    Oh so Broke.
    Oh so Beggarly.

    ugh

    horrible B- combo.

    Like someone said please what exactly is now endearing him to you?

    my darling please if u have money to spare, sow a seed in God’s house and tie it to a DAVID kinda man.
    That harvest go sure!!!

    Test ko, investigation ni

    Liked by 5 people

  11. Eeeexsqueeze me! I’m sorry, did I miss something? Did you say he was your fiancee, boyfriend or your ‘man-slaughter’. Girl, no one is worth it if he’s going to be treating you so shabbily and at the same time expecting you to pay his bills! (eyes-wide). Your text screams “I am stressed”. Christ said He came that we may have life and life more abundantly which is inclusive of love , peace, and a whole lot of “igbadun” (Yoruba for enjoyment). and I am not seeing that in your relationship.

    I beg, na only you waka come in this world. Take my advice, waka pass this guy joor.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. The guy is trying to get rid of you and he is using that as an excuse because he knows you won’t give him. If you give him that money, you won’t write your exams which means you’ll have carryovers, he won’t refund the money to you and worst still he won’t call you. Do not force yourself on him. You are worth someone else’s love who will always call you even in his tight schedule. Leave him, don’t pick his calls so he wont disturb you with his nonsense business. Someone that has not been calling you since is now calling you because he needs your money. That guy is a complete fraud. Remember, any money given out in any relationship cannot be refunded.

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  13. The guy is trying to get rid of you and he is using that as an excuse because he knows you won’t give him. If you give him that money, you won’t write your exams which means you’ll have carryovers, he won’t refund the money to you and worst still he won’t call you. Do not force yourself on him. You are worth someone else’s love who will always call you even in his tight schedule. Leave him, don’t pick his calls so he wont disturb you with his nonsense business. Someone that has not been calling you since is now calling you because he needs your money. That guy is a complete fraud. Remember, any money given out in any relationship cannot be refunded.

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  14. Hmmmm some men sha! Swty i wont waste anytime beating around the bush; this dude is playing you like a ball and you are about to fall into a net. This is no test , He is giving you clear signs to take to your hills. He says he Is busy? what could he be doing that’s so important he can’t call you in weeks? My dear there is always time for what and who we place importance and value on. How come he all of a sudden wants to observe you to see if he really wants to be with you after he has proposed ( i assume he did that since you call him your fiance).
    He wants to loan your fees and cnt even tell when he is going to pay back….isn’t it glaring he wants to sabotage your life and Now that he wants your money he isnt too busy to call?
    My dear i repeat this isn’t a test this is a clear case of manipulation, he is a User , a liar , manipulator…pls dont just run from him ,FLEE!
    This definitely is not God’s best for you. I suggest you draw closer to God and let him lead you as regards a spouse, sow seeds towards a life partner, attend godly insightful relationship seminars and keep your spiritual atennas sensitive. Shalom!

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  15. ngwa everybody has been saying run…please do not mind them..if u run he might catch up with u…..my dear, bible says fleeeee from every appearance of evil…am sure you know the difference between flee and run…..am not saying you should not help the needy oooo…but just know that u have sown your school fee as burnt offering….biko fleee

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  16. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, some men shaaaaaaaaaaaa. My darln ehhhh if this is a test, you seriously do not need to pass it this time. Remember he wasn’t calling you for a long time(you can’t be too busy to call the one you love even if just for a second) until he needed money for that so called biz deal. If he can’t get the money himself then the biz aint important. Pay your school fees and pls do not go looking for where to borrow for him because you are soooooo going to pay that debt yourself. My Pastor K would always say “you deff would have that one person that can help you unless there is something the matter with you”. So please take a veeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyy looooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggg walk away from that man cos he aint worth the stress.

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  17. My dear, I think you should read in between the lines. Your boyfriend or fiance like you said stopped calling you and he kept on saying he was busy. Babe my question is,how come it was when you called that he remembered that business opportunity? Do you know what I think? You’re the “magga”,his business opportunity, he will take your money,won’t pay you back and also dump you. He’s looking for a way to end the relationship. My advise is, don’t give him your fees ooo, dat one go be serious gobe and please pray for a better man after you waka comot for there. Shalom

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  18. Hmmmmm,My dear…. This guy probably does not love you anymore or he has found some1 else,so he is giving you a test that he knows you are likely not to pass so he can leave you because he is fully aware that you are just a student and it will be difficult to part with your school fees….Dear, a man that truly loves you will not mount pressure on you to give him your school fees when he knows the consequences. He can still get other business deals for crying out loud….Pls,Pray for Direction! Thanks

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  19. For starters, a man that is already in courtship with you and all of a sudden starts testing you, it’s obvious he doesn’t know what he wants. You don’t need to compromise and put yourself on the line for someone that is not dedicated to you. He stopped calling and when you called he asked for financial help. This is way past testing. He is trying to exploit you. Pray hard and let the Holy spirit guide you. If he is really your man then you don’t have to struggle to keep him. Whatever sources a thing sustains it. Also, its financially inept to act as a guarantor for someone that is not bank-able. Truth is, he won’t pay back and he will leave you all alone to settle the bills and this will affect your own advancement in school . So girlfriend, be wise!!!

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  20. Well………the truth is dt if the guy is urs he shld not b testing u with what has to do with ur life! If the business is genuine,he shld look for d money himself since he’s not even sure of when he will refund d money, I don’t think u shld toy wit ur future because of a man who’s is testing u bcos he wants to marry you.this is not a mtter of I love him or I want to impress him, if u av any amount to assist him with u can or if u v any spare amount u can release and not ask for it till he can pay back, u can give him ,or better stil, if u can hlp him borrow and not putting ursef out of the box then go ahead bt I really do not think u should offer som1 what u do not have access to ursef all in d name of I want him to know I’m not stigny or because he’s my fiancee,
    Thnx

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    1. Wow! Just seeing this. The level of ladies desperation these days is alarming, God gives only good and perfect gifts, any long story suffer head is wrong abeg. The way your Father in Heaven won’t even treat you. Unmarried sisters really need a reorientation fast! The kind of things I hear
      PS, I’m unmarried, I recently cancelled my engagement few weeks to my trad. You don’t want to know the details, this man was every woman’s dream and much more, my friends and family envied me, plus he gave me 2 return tickets to America this year alone. That’s a tip of the iceberg and yes he’s a Minister of God, till I discovered heavy secret habits, chronic womanizing, porn, lies etc and walked out in thanksgiving to God, the worst part was when he said I have to accept him the way he is and live with him like that. Like one sister said here, I didn’t run or waka, I fled!!! Thank God I didn’t loose myself and I’m so joyful and thankful, yeah it was hard & painful initially but I’m so over it, I trust God too much to let Him down and I’m absolutely confident in Him.

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