Should I propose?

Day 2
Dilemma tuesday
Okay guys I’m back πŸ™‚
Yeah! Yeah! I know it’s only day 2.

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Too early to start celebrating right? Lol!
Okay so here’s this week’s dilemma. Please feel free to leave your “two kobo”. She will appreciate it. Besides you guys give such great advise πŸ˜‰

“Dear Pastor M
I’m writing to you because I just read your book “JUST US GIRLS” And it totally blessed me. I also need some advice. I noticed that in your book you talked a lot about character and things that are expected of the single christian lady.

I’m 32 years old and I’m single. I’ve been in a relationship with this guy for five years. We met during NYSC. He’s 2 years older than I am. He’s born-again. He runs his mother’s business. He’s very sweet and kind and our relationship really has been good so far. My only issue is that he seems very comfortable with being in a relationship and is not making any moves to take it any further.
I know he wants to marry me and I’m very sure he’s not seeing any one else.Β  he’s never been unfaithful to me. The issue is he’s just very laid back. He’s never actually said the words marriage but when we started the relationship he told me he loved and hoped that one day we would build a family together.

So what I’m asking is should i propose to him? I know him very well. He just might be thinking about it but he will drag his feet till Jesus comes and the truth is I’m not getting any younger. My parents are beginning to ask me what the problem is.
Please what do I do? I’ve checked and I didn’t see anywhere the bible says a lady should not propose.

Ok guys so there you have it. Should she propose? Is it alright As a Christian lady? Is it alrightΒ  since they are already in a relationship?
Can’t wait to hear from you.

See you tomorrow. Thanks to my cheerleaders squad πŸ˜‰

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15 thoughts on “Should I propose?

  1. It is not a nice idea at all…All I suggest is u ask him the basis of d relationship and where u guys are heading to,ask him

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  2. Should you propose? ? Do you intend to give him a ring too??. Hehehe. ..just joking. Pls don’t do a man’s job for him. God was referring to the man in Gen2 vs 24. If he really is understanding, you can sit him down and have a heart to heart discussion. Let him know how you feel.
    I cant help but wonder why you have dated him for this long. What do u discuss after 5yrs of courtship? ??. If u dont discuss about getting married and improving your lives together…. i just wonder. i wish you the very best. God bless you.

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  3. Ermmmmm what did I just read, swty the answer is no no no , don’t even let the thought of you proposing to him take root in you. Yes I agree some men can be shy in doing certain things but if he is really serious about you he will find a way to propose to you no matter what. Besides 5years is a long time for you to be uncertain about where your relationship is heading, as you rightly stated you aren’t getting any younger so its best you ensure your time isn’t being watsted. You also say he has never really mentioned the word marriage this I find disturbing because if he were really serious about getting married to you , he will of mentioned it a couple if times and given you hints on what he plans.
    My sincere advise to you us to have a heart to heart decision with him , ask him what exactly he wants if the relationship, if truly he is thinking about it , you will find out and if not….whatever the case the conversation will yield results… I pray whatsoever it is , it will all work together for your good…Shalom

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  4. As a christian lady?No, no,no and NO! U shld NOT propose.Its understandable that because of yr age u feel a bit pressurised & want to take the matter into your hands, but The truth is, if he is too ‘laid back’ to propose to you now, then he will be too laid back to be committed to u all d days of ur lives in d marriage. As my dear dear wonderful Pastor K said in one of his teachings, ‘the toaster is the maintainer’; u will be the only one working to maintain d marriage. If he’s floating, then he’s probably nt ready for a lifetime committment. One thing bout guys is that no matter how laid back a guy is, if he really desires something, he will go for it; men are achievers; they go for whatever they want, unless if he’s just too too lazy for himself & the whole of mankind! Both of you should sit down and have an honest conversation bout d direction of dir relationship. U shld ask him where d relationship is going&what is the plan for d near future. If he insists on continuing to float, u shld leave bcos he may eventually not marry you & meeehn, na u go suffer am o! A man can marry at even age 50, but a woman will need divine intervention from the Almighty at even age 35! Besides, the guy might be a ‘human delay’ ;blocking the real person God has for u, since he doesnt seem ready. U can also spend time in prayer, ask God for direction to know if he is God’s plan for you. But u shouln’t propose, proposing will not solve d problem. My sister considering your age u cannot be waiting for a laid back person to make up his mind about u. Remember that in In Gen.2:24 it was Adam that confirmed Eve as his wife; God just brought her to him. God b wit u dear.

    Mama, who r d winners of d last dilemma Tuesday? Im very sure i’m 1 of them *wink*

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  5. Dear Lady,
    Proposing is never the best idea. If you do so, you would have to head the family yourself and this is not GOD’s plan for a marriage. Instead, sit him down and say what you have written. “You aren’t getting younger and you would like to know where this relationship is going”. If he is serious, he would tell you that he wants to marry you. But don’t stop there. Tell him to give you a date. Every goal has a time frame and this must be treated as such. If not, you would be asking this question in another 5 years.
    Unfortunately, I can not rule out the fact that he might not be serious enough for marriage. If this is the case, my sister, I know it would be hard but take a walk. It is better than spending more years in a car that is rooted to the same spot.
    Expect the best, prepare for the worst, but know like you know your name, that GOD would not fail you.

    Cheers love.

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  6. Hello sis,puh-leeze n bikonu don’t propose. ThiS is where communication comes in,ask him”bro, yea we ve been dating for so long wher are we heading to? Are we seeing a future in this? And don’t forget proverb 18:22 reads whoever findeth a wife. You are meant to b found,he has found u so let him do d proposing. Also u can talk to ur heavenly father abt it,let him knoow wat up hw dis dude isn’t saying anyfin yet. Jes talk tell him how u feel ok? I know hw u feel. God wil help u. Cheers

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  7. It seems like a pretty cool idea yeah? Since you think you know him very well and you assume he is dragging his feet. So you might as well just buy yourself a ring, set a date, pay for a hall, slap a suit on him and invite him to his own wedding, hehehe,!! It does sound cool but where is the fun in that? So for a minute forget all the pressure, your age, society and all their garbage ideas and what your family is saying and wait (hard I know) but God made Eve for Adam not Adam for Eve, the bible says “He that FINDS a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord” you are the blessing, you carry the blessing, if he doesn’t realize that, maybe one day soon he will, if not some smart, godly….. man will. till then keep loving your king.

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  8. You are 32(nd m sure he is aware of dat fact)…dosnt he want kids? I mean, u imply he is financially able and so wat wexactly is he waiting for? He is not going to marry you…period! He’s probably looking for d best way to tell u dat with the least possible damage. Except of course, he dosnt want kids, he’s probably taking his time since it’s just going to be both of u-no kids nd so no rush! U want to propose? Try dat and be reminded for d duration of ur married life(if u ever get married) dat “…u were d one who desperately proposed to me…”. May God lead you the way u should go. Cheers!

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  9. It’s a NO NO NO to propose to a guy no matter how laid back he is or your age. But you can ask questions if you feel like it. The bible said that a man’s heart is desperately wicked, you may think the guy is not in any relationship or he is not seeing anyone but that might be a lie. For me o o o, the guy might have his plans but instead of you thinking and imagining, you can ask some good and reasonable questions so that if your not satisfied with the answer, you can move on with your life on time. It is better to be single trusting God to be married than to be stocked in a relationship that is not defined and end up being disappointed . Cheers

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  10. Sweetheart, I must say like everyother person has said here, DO NOT propose ooo. That’s d man’s job. If u propose, will u also meet ur parents on his behalf or set d date for d wedding?(Cos proposal is not authentic until it comes with a date). I think u should sit him down and define ur r/ship. 5 yrs is a long time to be in a r/ship wif someone wifout knwing exactly where it is headed. For me, its one of 2 things, either the guy is not serious or he doesn’t have a mentor. Cos if he’s serious, no matter how laid back, he shld hv said or done sth tangible. And if he had a mentor, the mentor wld have ‘pulled his ear’ or ‘knocked his head’ by now. The earlier u have this conversation the better, so dat u can knw if he’s d one or if he’s just a human delay(u no pass, u no fail, u no commot for class). Also pastor k has a book on ‘should ladies propose?’ Dats a book u shld get. I thank God cos u’ll know what to do. All the best….

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  11. Propose ke? Its a Hollywood trick that does not work even in hollywood. The old fashioned way, so shall it be. God said he findeth a wife not dat she ridiculously goes on one knee. To be candid, I don’t understand how an able bodied man will date a woman he claims to love for 5 years without desiring her body. Its either the long-term courtship has been consumated into the “things” of marriage or the guy is impotent. Anyway, if we choose not to read between the lines of your dilemma, ask your guy where he sees himself in 2 years, if your name doesnt come up, ask him of 5 years. If your name still doesnt come up in d masterplan, my dear you may never be in d picture o. Hard to do but take a walk. It could be a wake up call not to loose a good woman or it could be your walk to happiness.

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  12. beehivepΒ onΒ December 7, 2014 at 12:07 pmΒ said:

    Propose ke? Its a Hollywood trick that does not work even in hollywood. The old fashioned way, so shall it be. God said he findeth a wife not dat she ridiculously goes on one knee. To be candid, I don’t understand how an able bodied man will date a woman he claims to love for 5 years without desiring her body. Its either the long-term courtship has been consumated into the β€œthings” of marriage or the guy is impotent. His desire for you must be strong enough to make him have a need to take the relationship to the next level.Anyway, if we choose not to read between the lines of your dilemma, ask your guy where he sees himself in 2 years, if your name doesnt come up, ask him of 5 years. If your name still doesnt come up in d masterplan, my dear you may never be in d picture o. Hard to do but take a walk. It could be a wake up call not to loose a good woman or it could be your walk to happiness.

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  13. The Bible didn’t say SHE that findeth a HUSBAND. DON’T PROPOSE. 5 YEARS OF ‘INVESTMENT’ FOR A 32 YEAR OLD…TOO LONG. TAKE A WALK. IF HE REALLY NEEDS YOU IN HIS LIFE, HE WILL COME BACK AND DO RIGHT BY YOU. TIME WASTERS…2015…NO TIME.

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