I remember my first encounter with this amazing young woman. I remember very clearly this bubbly young lady walking up to me and hugging me so warmly you would think we were long lost friends and before I could recover from that she introduced herself with “I don’t like being in a church and my pastors don’t know me (she laughed). So I’ve come to report myself” I laughed too but at the same time I thought are there really Christians like this? The average Christian I know is dodging pastor 🙂
So I asked her name but before she told me, she gave me this threat. however so pleasantly yet a threat none the less. “Pastor M, I don’t like people forgetting my name.” Okay the name already I thought.
“Eziaha” she said.
I smiled then and promised “I won’t forget”
“Anyway I won’t let you” she said then gave me a final hug and walked away but not before throwing in an “I will ask you next time we meet”
I thought to myself this must be the easiest thing ever. I mean how do you forget a name like EZIAHA (a good name)
The beauty of it is that Eziaha has lived up to the name for me in every sense of the word. Yes I know its the same naughty, mischievous yet fab E’ we are talking about. She’s such a ray of sunshine, she’s such a joy to pastor and yep Eziaha walks the walk as much as she talks the talk.
Last weekend was her wedding and after seeing my darling E dance out of that hall happily with her Aku. The love of her life. It just occurred to me that I never got to talk to her one on one about the marriage. So knowing fully well she’s on honeymoon and verrrrry busy since all the honey was left intact for the moon 😉 I guess the only way we will be having that talk is on this blog. So my darling these are a few words of wisdom. Stick around guys who knows you may learn a thing or two 🙂
1. Another Human Being Cannot Meet ALL Your Needs: One of the biggest and earliest lessons you will learn in marriage is that no human being not even your husband (actually especially not your husband) can meet ALL your needs. Honey, only Jesus can do that …and even He had to die first 😀 . Do not and I repeat do not place that kind of responsibility on your spouse. You will still need the other relationships in your life – your mother, your siblings, your pastors and lots of “great” girlfriends for those moments when your husband has no clue what you are talking about seeing as he doesn’t have boobs or a monthly cycle 😉 Letting him know He doesn’t have to be Jesus in your life takes off the pressure and makes your marriage so much more fun.
2. Marriage Will Not Make You Whole: I say this with caution because marriage can change your life for good (I should know 🙂 ) but if you were not whole or didn’t have a life before marriage that will hardly change. Whatever problems, weaknesses or challenges you had before marriage will not suddenly disappear. Marriage is work and only works if we work at it.
3.You Cannot Change Your Husband: trust me on this one. Women all over the world, all races, all sizes and all ages have finally come to this conclusion. You cannot change your husband the only person you can change is yourself… Ever wondered why God made us women not only suitable but ADAPTABLE? That’s your answer right there 🙂 don’t ever fall into the trap of trying to change him. Anything his mum did not achieve in how many years unfortunately my dear take it from me it isn’t achievable. So bottom line LOVE HIM- even if after he leaves for work, your bedroom looks like a hurricane just passed through or he snores so loudly if you didn’t know better you’d think a lion was hiding somewhere in the room- just LOVE him. Your job from now on is to Love your husband and train your children not train your husband and love your children. Let’s hope all the changes you want to make can be achieved in the next generation 😉
4. You Will Need Large Doses of Patience: Marriage will squeeze out every single bit of patience in you. Things will happen, you will both say or do things that will annoy each other but patience will make you STOP! And assess the situation properly. Patience will keep you from jumping to conclusions and creating unnecessary situations in marriage. Patience helps you especially when you’ve made up your mind that your marriage MUST work
5. Men Do Not Read Minds… they read newspapers. I learnt this one really early in marriage. I’m sure you’ve heard the story many times so I won’t bore you ;-). One thing you must learn is if you are sad, don’t SULK; TALK. You must say how you feel, what you expect and what you need. Don’t just expect him to know especially since he’s never been married to you before abi? 😉
6. Be Sensitive To His Needs: as much as we don’t expect him to read your mind, you on the other hand are expected to read his. You are expected to know his needs at all times and to fulfil them.
*He will need sex- satisfy him
*he will need good food- feed him.
*he will need to succeed- encourage him
*he will need wisdom- pray for him
*he will need to feel respected- venerate him
*he will need alone thinking time- give him space.
*he will need peace- be quiet.
7. Learn How to Influence in a Subtle Manner: this will require a lot of prayer, large doses of faith and an incredible sensitivity to hearing from the Holy Spirit. You will need all of this because though he may be the head, honey you are the neck and when you gently steer him in any direction you must be sure its the one God will have him take or you will both end up in BIG trouble. However, take note you are to submit so you may need to learn the art of stooping to conquer 😉
Okay E’ so I know you love looooooong posts with lots of pictures but I need to stop now and I’m doing this on my bb so I’m sorry no pictures but I hope these words of wisdom help. In marriage please remember YOUR name Eziahakaego (a good name is better than money) fortunately in your case you’ll have both sha 😉
I’m going to miss single Fab E’ but I’m sure I’ll love married E’ even more. Hopefully you’ll be busier and have less time to blog so efficiently and make the rest of us look less abnormal *covering my eyes*
What I’m trying to say my darling is I love you (there, I’ve said something sweet about you for a change) and I’m sure you will have the marriage of your dreams. Hopefully we’ve inspired you enough to believe it. Cos it exists my love. I’m living my dreams and so should you.
Bolaji, now you’re family. Welcome *big hug*
Oh! Ada congratulations my dear on the birth of your princess Uzoamaka Chinonyerem Kelechi – Ahuche.
You and eziaha just had to sha have your own blog post *rolling my eyes*
God bless you girls.
Okay people so I’m sure you know this means I’m officially back. E’ has that effect on me 🙂
And oh! Davida’s fine. Thanks for asking 🙂
Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.