Today I spoke to Hannah, she cried again. It’s been like this for seven years. Every time her wedding anniversary or birthday comes along; whenever it’s Easter, Christmas, or the New Year is approaching Hannah would go off on another bout of tears. Crying for her has become a lifestyle. Why is Hannah crying? Her biological clock is ticking. You see, Hannah has been married for seven years and every year is a reminder that in her words “I have failed as a woman.” It’s easy for me to sit here and say to her having a child doesn’t define you!” but only Hannah knows how it feels to have a womb that has never been used (isn’t that what makes you different from a man? Haven’t you heard that a woman is simply a man with a womb hence the name wom(b)man?), breasts that have never suckled, nights that are long and empty and a home that is never scattered or untidy. Her husband’s siblings all have babies, her younger sister just had twins and to even make matters worse her cat “kitty” just littered. How bad can it be? I mean even a cat?
The other day, someone whispered, not so low that she didn’t hear “don’t mind them they’re still on honeymoon. She doesn’t know she’s not getting younger” while a much bolder colleague asked her, “are you one of those women who don’t want children?”
“Why don’t you take another wife, a “good” friend asked her husband. “Abraham did it and you can’t be more “Christian” than him.” “Abraham wasn’t Christian” she wanted to scream rolling her eyes at the man while pretending she hadn’t heard him and serving him juice with a plastic smile on her face but Pelumi didn’t need this. He had been good to her and true to his faith in God. He had resisted all temptation. His confession remained “my wife will bear me a son from her womb.” He was a man of faith. But she couldn’t stop wondering was it fair?
Was it fair to require this of him? It wasn’t a ground for divorce. Should she cheat on him with another man so that he would be free? There he was again that stupid devil. “Shut up and let me think right” she said, more to herself than to the devil actually.
But was it fair? Married as a virgin, served God for as long as she knew, served in children’s church, worked at an orphanage, the list was endless but all I could hear as she pleaded her case before me was …filty rags, filthy rags. True her righteousness didn’t count so this was what I said to her and I’m hoping it will help my sister out there who is still waiting on the Lord.
GOD IS STILL GOD: The sooner you realize that the better; If you choose to serve him, obey him, love him or not. It doesn’t reduce who He is and it doesn’t change his nature. Too many times when we go through pain we are tempted to lash out at God and we even go as far as threatening him sometimes. The truth is that we need Him more at those times and we will always need Him more than he will ever need us.
GOD IS A SPIRIT: I can almost hear you say duh! Like I didn’t know that already. Well, I’m saying it again because a lot of times we don’t quite understand what that means. It means you cannot manipulate him with tears, cajole him with fasting or threaten him with all-night prayers. God is moved by principles and by His word.
WHAT YOU NEED IS FAITH: yes, that’s exactly what you need. Since crying won’t help you what will? FAITH! Faith in God that he will keep his word because he always does. He will be God even over this painful situation. Nothing is too hard for him. I’ve never seen a challenge too hard for God that he cannot handle it. If anything, He is excited by challenges and our faith in Him to achieve the impossible. I’ve come to the realization that there are some things that God and I mean only God can do. Conception is one of them, He may use different channels – oral drugs, injections, IVF, etc but one thing is constant, you will need God to make any of these work.
THERE IS AN APPOINTED TIME: I am a firm believer in what is known as the appointed time. God is a master planner and He is a God of purpose and order. I believe that there is a timing appointed for everything. The bible tells us …to everything there is a time and a season. Unfortunately, we don’t get to see the map in ful only in bits. If we knew the whens and the hows we would never need to walk with God. So I say believe that God has done it for you and wait for the manifestation at the appointed time. doing that shows that you trust God and that you believe He knows what He is doing and that He is and a He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him. Don’t worry God will show up. The testimony is sooner than you can imagine and when it happens, the years of waiting will all vanish. Take it from someone who knows ; -)
Having said all this, I’d like to encourage you if you are still waiting to go out there and be a blessing to as many people as you can. Be the best aunty or god-mother you can possibly be. It’s just dress rehearsals because you will SOON be a mummy. Remember that NONE SHALL BE BARREN (Exodus 23:26).
I also encourage you to take a bolder step and go and adopt a baby, be the answer to that child’s prayer as the child becomes an answer to yours. Love that baby with all your heart and if the baby ever finds out (s)he was adopted, let him or her never be able to question your love or motives because you never left room for doubt that (s)he made you a mother.
Now, let me finally say thank you to all the wonderful people who took time out to respond to last month’s dilemma Tuesday post by Honest Sister and by doing so helped a sister in need. Im sure after all that counsel she now knows what to do. Here is the much awaited list of winners. Sorry it took so long guys *covering my eyes*
1. Mirabel Faith Agboro
2. Michael Caleb
3. Motunde Akiode
4. Shot Caller
I know I promised five (5) winners but I had a personal favorite whom the judges somehow skipped so I’m adding her to the list. My final and in my opinon the best is BEEHIVEP.
If you’re one of the winners please call 08077714411 and find out how to pick up your prize of our LOVE DATING AND MARRIAGE 2012 complete messages on MP3. And for beehivep I’m throwing in my Just Us Girls (volume one) book as well. Watch out next week for dilemma Tuesday. Who knows, it just may be your turn to win a prize. Take care people.