I should be Married but…

Nkechi is pretty, she has that kind of figure that makes other women jealous and men… Well, let’s just say in some cases, men have been known to struggle with their salvation 😉 , she’s smart, has a great paying job and a thriving business, drives a car, Nk can cook no let me rephrase that NK is a great cook. She’s one of the few who survived from a breed gradually going extinct. Nk is a home-body, great with kids, large and selfless heart, would give their right eye if it would guarantee world peace (not me o! I’m sooooo keeping my eye. Anyone that wants peace should receive Jesus). She is a praying, bible believing and living someborri aka born-again and spirit filled. You know them now, homely yet don’t mind a few trips here and there, not really scared to try new or fun things. Nk is what most of us would call “wife material”. So what’s the problem? Nkechi is not anybody’s wife. At least not yet…

Idarabong, hmm… Now she’s the joker type. Always has a good story to tell. Always spreading joy. I suspect that she has her sad moments but she never shows it. Idara has a motto: “as far as we’re alive… Keep rocking!” She doesn’t believe in regrets. She’s an athlete, lithe body, healthy bank account, caring heart and godly spirit. She’s actually pretty whenever she decides in her words “to do the girly thing”. Idara is a gem. Her husband will never have a dull moment in marriage but there’s just one problem. Idara doesn’t have a husband at least not yet…

Oluwafunmike. Care giver. Event planner extra-ordinaire. If you have funmike at your wedding you can arrive looking pretty and not have to worry your head about anything. She is warm, confident, professional, organized, a thinker, planner and executioner. Funmike says it’s God’s ability at work in her and is always quick to talk about her God or his power to organize lives. She loves God like that and its very infectious. Funmike could plan anything and we’ve all been waiting to see what her own wedding will be like. The only problem? There’s no wedding in sight. At least not yet….

Ifechukwude has a voice that angels would envy. She is that girl we all love to hate in the choir. She is beautiful, she can sing, she is anointed, and has great dress sense. Ify works for a multi-national company and earns a healthy salary. She’s so well put together that we always tease her that on wedding day, the cake designer would simply put her on the cake as she’d definitely look good enough to eat.
There’s only one problem. There’s no wedding cake without a wedding.

All these ladies are pretty, born-again, hardworking and nice. Yet not married. Sometimes when they pass people snicker, some are insensitive enough to ask “why are you not married?” Well, because the last time I checked “one cannot marry one’s self.” You’ll even hear “you de choose abi?” Sometimes I wish that was even the case. It will amaze you that some of these girls have never even been proposed to. I know someone who everyone assumes she’s in a relationship with someone abroad. Meanwhile nothing o!

I’m sure you know these ladies. Of course you do. Just look around you. Nkechi is your sister, idara is your childhood friend, funmike is your cousin and ify often sits beside you in church. Hey! It may even be you.

These past two months I’ve had a lot of young girls (well by marriage standards not too young anymore) who have called me in tears or sent me a pain-filled email or blackberry message. Most under parental or societal pressure and many more willing to settle for even a bad marriage. At this rate, anything really.

My dear I’m writing this to all of you nkechis, idaras, funmikes and ifys. I know you are called by many other names but your story is the same. Some of you have even started asking is something wrong with me? My darling there is NOTHING wrong with you. Some of us just have to get our miracles as a testimony because God wants to use your story for His glory. Remember with every testimony there is a test. But know this: your story must end in glory.

I need you to do three things for me

1. Find God’s promise to you on marriage and settle it forever. You will be married and he will be one of God’s worthy sons who will keep wondering where you have been all his life and practically worship the ground you walk on.

2. Guard your heart. Be careful the counsel you allow into your heart. Some people will say you are not trying hard enough, you don’t go out enough, you don’t dress scandalously enough. I even heard one ridiculously stupid counsel yesterday. Someone just broke up with a guy who beats her, has no job and verbally abuses her and on top of it is not even a serious christian and all her “married” friend could tell her was “you didn’t try hard enough. Is this how you’ll keep running at the slightest thing? Do you know all the things my husband does to me? I can’t say what others are saying just to make you feel good. Marriage is work”. I was soooo angry when I heard it. One of the things I’ve learned in my life is people never wish you better than they have. Just because that thing she calls a marriage is terrible she believes every other person who has a great one (like me 🙂 yes o! Beef me or not. I will testify. God blessed me with a wonderful husband that’s why I believe everyone deserves to marry well) is just telling stories. If your marriage is bad. Accept you made a mistake and stop spreading the gospel of manage any man. Besides because someone is married doesn’t mean they can counsel you on marriage. Please cross check with the Word of God. Yes marriage is work but its enjoyable work.

3. Enjoy your life. Yes, enjoy your life. Don’t allow world people (you know them na “AWON OMO AIYE!”) make you feel like you have a problem because you don’t. Except of course you have bad character then change but if not I beg you being single is not sickness. And if you’re cynical enough to think that it’s easy for me to say because I’m married. Well, then its probably the state of your heart that’s keeping you single. Honey if you think like that you’ll get bitter and bitter women repel. So have fun, attend friends’ weddings and be genuinely happy for them. Don’t be desperate, don’t panic and don’t worry because one thing is sure – HE THAT WILL COME, WILL COME! NONE SHALL LACK HER MATE. You will definitely testify this year *big hug*

Send my IV o! No story 😉

Thank you so much every one who spread the word on the AM I RIGHT? Post and especially all who commented. Everyone did so well. Wish I hadn’t promised to pick a winner but promise I did and God helping me I keep my promises. So I’ll pick a winner but so I’ll save myself from entering more trouble entries close tonight. Winners will be announced on Friday. If you no win abeg no vex o! Try again next month. 😉

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33 thoughts on “I should be Married but…

  1. Thanks ma.. A lot of ladies are thinking being single is a disease or something. It’s a life long thing so no rush o..

    And by the way, you said “The Best Three Comments” will receive a prize o!! I read all the comments and I believe mine is in the top 3… (I speak what I wanna have 😉 Afterall, I must Testify!)

    Looking forward to the next post!!!!

  2. PM,thank u so so much for this writeup. Its like u knew I needed to hear/read this today cuz for some reason it started to get to me yesterday. I’ve heard it all from “u dont go out enough to ure too choosy”.. I will testify and u will get the invite..God bless u..

  3. Thanks PM, Ȋ̝̊̅† was like U̶̲̥̅̊ were talking τ̅☺ me directly.am filled with new hope n faith that i’ll testify dis year too. i even had τ̅☺ send d̶̲̥̅̊ link τ̅☺ ♍♈ sister.*massive hug*

  4. Mmmmmmmm! Never knew i’ve be missing out, dis site is d bomb 4 people that would like 2 know d truth and face facts. Woah! das ist wundeber. Thanx 2 u mother ‘PM’. (Yes, she’s my mother, abeg no over beef me)

  5. Pst M God bless U̶̲̥̅̊ ma! Dis is rili an eye opener n it rili does help 2 get desperation out of d single ladies. Jst bcos all our friends r gettin married does nt mean God has 4gotten us. Truly a huge testimony is in d offing n its gonna be rili hot. Fnk U̶̲̥̅̊ §ø much ma. p

  6. The most interesting part of this write-up is the ending part of it.HE THAT WILL COME, WILL COME! NONE SHALL LACK HER MATE. And that is the world of God. .Thank you very much for such an encouraging Topic. Best Regards .

  7. Dia z indeed a wiring in d spirit… Or in blogsville
    This was to be my NEXT blogpost…
    Cos seriously girls eye dey red ooo… Eligible yet d men are BLIND lol
    I’ll still do mine. But this just makes me wanna HUG YOU…
    I’ll save it for sunday
    And a kiss if u remember d last LDM msg hehehe
    My Pastor M… Loff u more than I loff Pk LOL

  8. Seriously!..this is a great piece..I’v had to ask myself lots of questions and i’v had to cry at tyms…and people dont help issues by expressing shock and asking,”how can a fyn gal like you not be engaged?”…but i would wait for my Boaz..this write up is heart-warming…nothing is wrong with me(#relieved!#)..God bless u ma

  9. Mama! Humm well written ooo, dis is d mind of a lot of ladies written down. God bless u 4dis. Worthy words indeed.

  10. Okay…so I just found this on fbk and I decided to read. And I must say, I didn’t regret dat I read. I truly believe God wanted me to read this. I can say for sure that I love to love but love hasn’t exactly found me. All these guys who are not ready to commit and just want to have sex and skip. I’m saving myself for marriage and I don’t want to make a mistake. So eventually when my heaven sent comes I’ll be glad I waited. Being single is not an ailment and in due time me too will walk down the aisle. *smiles*

  11. I will say dt am blessed by that writeup n encouraged as well. Patience is alwyz d key n i beliv dt tis jst a mata of tym for d bible says dt tho it tarries, it will surely cme to pass. God bless u ma.

  12. I like thank God for His grace upon your life and thank you also for yielding yourself to be used by God.It is true “Some of us just have to get our miracles as a testimony because God wants to use your story for His glory.”God bless you ma

  13. Thank you Pastor M. God bless you! I really enjoyed reading the post…it blessed me. Now it is time for me to share the link so other girls can enjoy and learn too… 😀 Happy Vals Day to everyone!!!

  14. Always, Always a blessing. New phrase ‘people never wish you better than they have’ very true.
    May this oil never run dry IJN, amen.

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