During a women’s gathering I attended recently, i heard one of the speakers say “every man has a mumum button. All you need to do is know what your husband’s is and know when to push it.”
Some of the women laughed, some nodded in agreement and yet some others immediately started asking “what’s your husband’s? It may be the same for mine”. Sadly it was a Christian gathering.
For those of you who don’t live in Nigeria, and may not know what a mumu button is, hang on a second and I’ll just put you through. A mumu button is like an emergency button and a manipulation button all rolled up in one. You see, the very word mumu conotes foolishness or stupidity if you like. The act of being easily deceived. So the mumu button is that thing that u press and it becomes easy for you to manipulate a man and in this case your husband.
Some schools of thought believe that every man has a price, a weakness, a mumu button. It could be sex, food, money, etc. In other words if for instance you want something from your husband and his mumu button is sex, all you need to do is before he gets home have a long luxurious scented bath, put on your sexiest lingerie and wait for him in bed and after a rather exciting night of sex, whatever you want even to half of his kingdom shall be given to you.
For some other women all they need to do is cook an interesting and very rich pot of Egusi soup and Pounded yam. The kind that sea food and land animals are waging war in the pot. Then once he’s done eating and is sprawled lazily on the couch, toothpick in hand, if you were to ask for half of his kingdom at this point, you’d probably get the whole thing.
I was shocked. First at the fact my mother-in-law had somehow cheated me. If there’s one man on the face of the earth that doesn’t have a mumu button or his mumu button isn’t functioning… Well, trust me to get that one :D. My husband is one of those people that can see right through any form of scheming. Yep! You heard me right any type of manipulative ploy and my Pk is all over you like a blood hound. Trust me I learnt that all these man-made theories and principles always have one exception that proves the rule.
My husband likes a good home cooked meal but no matter the amount of food or how delicious it is once he has told you “NO!” About something you can press that “mumu button” all you like till Jesus comes and it will NEVER and I mean N-E-V-E-R work. His No means just that “NO!” Whether before or after a good meal.
Funny enough I learnt this one before I got married. Watching other ladies vie for his attention, they would go and cook large pots of soup for their “single” pastor and be batting their eye-lashes at him “bless you pastor. I thought you may not have the time to do any cooking sir so I thought I should bring this.” I’d laugh because women are such entertaining creatures. We are the only ones who go into battle without studying our opponent. They would cook all types and bake all sorts and he wouldn’t even look their way. Then me that I was “jeje-ly on my own. I didn’t cook anything or wash any clothes or turn myself into a slave. He was all over me”. So I thanked God for the free lesson and deposited it into my information bank on my “To do NOT list”. *I’ll tell you about that someday* I learnt that food no matter how delicious had no bearing on how my PK made decisions.
“Maybe his own may not be food. Maybe it’s sex” I hear some of you insist. 😀 😀 *yes I’m laughing and actually rolling on the floor* My sister trust me I’ve tried it all o! I’m very very very adventurous *Dont worry enough said. I’m sooooo sparing you the details* 😀 He’ll just say “Wow!” Then I’d think, okay great opportunity to ask for anything. So he’s still in the Euphoria of it all and we’re still cuddled up so I say “honey” and with eyes half closed he answers “hmmm?” And I say in my best ‘baby-girl’ voice. “Remember that thing I asked you for?” He’ll say “yes baby. And I remember saying No”. Then he’ll turn over give me a big cuddle and we’ll both fall asleep.
You see the real problem is I married a MAN not a MUMU. Now don’t get me wrong if calling your own husband a mumu works for you then by all means please do. Whatever rocks your boat 😀
But I guess the real question we should be asking instead of stressing ourselves and coming up with one manipulative ploy after the other is “what can make us fascinating enough to be able to influence a man (or our husbands) in our favour?” And who better to ask than the MAN with no mumu button :D.
Guess what! Another MANners is coming up and incidentally the THEME- The Fascinating Woman.
DATE- Sunday 9th December 2012
TIME – 4pm
VENUE – DCC Victory Dome. Behind PHCN office. Fatgbems bus stop.
There’ll be lots of music and comedy too.
And oh! Just before I go, I wanted to share what I found out helps when I need my husband to change his mind – PRAYER. Yep! Good old prayer ;). Works all the time. God made him albeit without a mumu button so who better to speak to when I need some adjustments? :-).
Try it ladies. Works 100% especially if you’re like me and you didn’t marry no fool. 😀 as the americans would say.
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