OUT OF THE DARKNESS

Just finished reading a book OUT OF THE DARKNESS by Tina Nash.

On the evening of 21 April 2011, Tina Nash’s life changed forever. After suffering months of beatings and domestic abuse at the hands of boyfriend Shane Jenkin, she was subjected to a barbaric and prolonged attack during which Jenkin beat her unconscious and gouged out both her eyes. In the book, she tells her full story- of what life with a violent partner is really like and how she survived 12 hours of sustained and unimaginable violence in her own home. In my opinion a must read for every woman especially for single mums.

Hmmm… After reading this book, I am totally lost for words. I cannot believe what women will put themselves through in the name of love. I’m still in shock. Googled her and this link came up http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2220903/Tina-Nash-Blind-mother-boyfriend-gouged-eyes-12-hour-attack-tells-ordeal.html

Helps to have the pictures too. Can’t believe what this woman put herself through. In the past I’d say can anybody be this stupid? All the warning signs and red flags were there and she ignored them because I can’t believe she missed them. But now after a few years in ministry I’ve encountered some really deluded sisters.

Blinded by her ex-boyfriend, Tina tells her full story in the book but isn’t it a little too late? Was it worth losing her eyes for? I sometimes think some women enjoy suffering. And its really sad because in most cases, their minds have been badly damaged.

I remember when I was living and working in PH. I had a friend there who was in an abusive relationship and one day she came to work all bruised and shaken up and I was telling her to get out while she still could. When one of my other colleagues butted in and told her “don’t mind this lagos girl o! How you go know say man love you if e no beat you?”

I was in shock for days. Why? Because for one the girl went back to the guy to beg his forgiveness but more importantly because there were still girls in this generation, in this century who believed one had to be beaten as a proof of love. Well, I on the other hand believed that a real man never hits a woman and that my husband would totally adore me. And because the bible says …my expectation shall not be cut off. That’s exactly what I got. A man that loves me the way God expects him to love me. And I firmly believe all women deserve the same. We just need to be smarter about the choices we make.

I mean how do you date a guy that has beaten you countless number of times and has tried to blind you once before all in the name of love or should I say what you consider great sex. If a guy threatens …please take note I said if a guy threatens … To hit you. Whether jokingly or not, FLEE – run as in terror! Run for your dear life. Don’t smile, don’t laugh, don’t even ask him why? Just take a walk.

Girls need to learn this. Loving a man cannot change him. I believe Tina Nash learnt this the hard way. Like he said she’ll “…never be able to see her boys again”.

The signs are always there. He’s dangerous if he’s …
* insecure
* angry with the world
* hot tempered
* the kind of man who instead of apologies you get gifts
* usually full of stories and excuses concerning finances.
* has no regard for authority
* manipulative.
* constantly breaking trust -lying to you.
* NEVER apologises- blames you for all his problems.
* engages in destructive criticism.
* isolates you
* focuses on destroying your self-esteem.
* unstable – friendly and loving one day, moody and angry the next.
* abusive- verbal or physical.

There are a lot more signs but If you or anyone you know is in a relationship with this kind of person. Please get out while you still can or if the person is in denial get help fast! Find someone who can get through to them before its too late. We don’t need books after the fact or any more letters from the grave.

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

3 thoughts on “OUT OF THE DARKNESS

  1. PM,I have also wondered at the logic of “if he beats u then he loves u”. First time I heard that,I was in the university and I couldn’t believe my ears. I thought the person saying it was cracking a joke but I’ve over time,come to realize that so many ladies out there think like that. I have always announced to whoever cares to listen,that the day a guy I’m dating raises his hand,its over. No contest,no apologies. Because,he won’t change,he would only get worse and he would probably kill me one day or permanently injure me. It would even be an answer to my prayers for his true character to be revealed before I get in too deep. I broke it off about a year ago with a guy who
    I found out (after we started dating) was insecure,manipulative,tried to isolate me,made everything my fault so that I was always in the wrong,kept on lying and breaking my trust n made it seem like I was the one who couldn’t be trusted. He always had a story about his finances or why he couldn’t call or come over. Wetin? Only me. I jus fled. I no fit shout! Its better I’m alone and have peace of mind than to be deceiving myself that I’m in a relationship
    (Because he kept professing undying love in the midst of all this). I no get power for “get married or die trying” because I know that I’m a catch and any guy is going to be blessed to have me in his life.. I just wish all ladies could think like this..

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  2. I have learnt that women in abusive relationships themselves have low self worth and esteem that’s why a woman would rather be battered and trampled upon than be alone. If you would love yourself as a woman you would deliberately avoid a situation that can cause you grievious physical and emotional harm. Going into or staying in an abusive relationship is like playing with an out of control fire and hoping not to get burnt or believing you can single handedly put it out when you no be fire brigade! Women, God created us to be loved, we are objects of love not punching bags. A relationship should increase your self worth not demean nor kill you. Tina Nash is emotionally out of darkness yet locked in darkness as a result of her poor choice.

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