I remember that day So well…

I remember that day well… In fact I remember that day very well. It was Saturday 3rd of September 2005. I woke up really early. But is that even true? Because I rarely slept the night before. I stayed up almost all night. First, texting with my soon to be husband and when I finally got him off the phone, with the assurance that he was going straight to bed I realised I could not sleep. The ladies whom my mum had hired to cook were chattering singing, cutting, stirring, frying, stewing and causing a major commotion just behind the window of my bedroom. After a while, satisfied that they had done all the major work necessary to ensure that food would arrive at the reception on time, they went off to bed… But I still could not sleep.

Everyone was asleep but I still could not sleep. Excitement? Maybe but not quite. Butterflies in my tummy? Not exactly. It’s funny but now that I think back shouldn’t that have been what kept me awake? Romantic that I am I would love to say I couldn’t wait to walk down the aisle and say my “I dos” so my darling and I could live happily ever after but if truth be told that wasn’t what kept me awake. I actually remember that day so well, No! That’s not what kept me awake.

I wasn’t unsure or anything like that. If there was anything I was sure about in my life: this was it! God had spoken more than once and confirmed with signs following and I was marrying my BEST friend. I hadn’t been this bare and unashamed with anybody else in all my life: No secrets, No fears, No may-be’s. I was sure. I didn’t have to be perfect with him just truthful. He loved me- warts and all 😉 He knew I was special and never missed an opportunity to tell me or anyone else who cared to hear for that matter. I knew I was marrying MY husband. I knew it like I knew my name irrespective of what certain *ehrm.. clearing my throat* false prophets had to say *story for another day folks* I knew this was it.

Anyhow, before I knew it morning was here. Family, friends and foes alike trooped in from every corner. Someone doing my makeup, another doing my hair, an aunty going on about why my dress was so simple and an uncle complaining about me not getting married in my parent’s church. I said nothing because I had more on my mind. I was helped into my dress by a dear cousin to the sound of oohs and aahs! My mum came in and smiled at the finished product -me: the blushing bride but not before telling me how unreasonable I was being for not carrying a bouquet. I remember saying nothing in response not because I didn’t have a million reasons why I didn’t want or need a bouquet but because that seemed so trivial in the grand scheme of things. I remember… Yes I remember that day so well.

Ushered into the black sequoia 2003 model with my father who completely agreed with me that a fan was more reasonable than a bouquet *oops! Mum was never supposed to hear that* Off to church went and despite the light traffic, we made it in time.

In fact a little too early as the wedding preceding mine was just ending. While in the car, I had my phone on and a call came through, a friend? Hmm… Not sure what to call him now. He called to say that he was at my parents church and there was no record of my wedding. “Oh!” I said “there must be some kind of misunderstanding. I am wedding in a different denomination”. Silence! I remember it so well… Then he said to me: “You are a disgrace. I will never step foot into that wedding if you are not marrying in this church.” I said nothing. I simply hung up the phone and said nothing. But I smiled because some people honestly think they are more important than they really are. Not be at my wedding? What a laugh! So I laughed. One less mouth to feed. He wasn’t the groom, he wasn’t the pastor, he wasn’t even my father. I still laugh because I remember it so well. He didn’t speak to me for three years *talk about drinking panadol for another man’s headache*

Then my father held out his arm. It was time. I was sweating like a Christmas chicken. *wait where do we get these expressions from? Do chicken’s even sweat?* Ok maybe they sweat and it doesn’t show then that description would be appropraite as I was really sweating or at least I thought I was but it didn’t show. I made it to the front without tripping thankfully! Then I sat beside my prince and he looked at me with a side glance then looked straight ahead and whispered “you look beautiful”. He does those things you know, he has a way of saying one liners that make you feel on top of the world while pretending that the big grin on your face has nothing to do with him 🙂

I smiled and I suddenly realized I had been holding my breath. I had forgotten the one thing my head had been saying to me all night: “just keep breathing, no matter what happens today as long as you keep breathing, you’ll be fine”.

Then the part that kept me awake all night. You see the whole courtship period had been like a master class in hearing God. At every point in time God was preparing me for that day and the rest of my life (in this marriage). First he said to me “your ministry and money are tied to the man you marry” Ah! Then he said “the reason why there’s so much drama around who you choose to marry is because of the things I want to do with your marriage.” All year long or should I say more accurately all nine months long it had been one drama or the other “not this one”, “then this one”, then a “prophet” comes along and says “No! NOT HIM God told me NOT HIM!” and while he was yet speaking God says TO ME (seeing as He is not a gossip) “I have not sent him, the prophet prophesies lies”. *you don’t understand abi? Don’t worry buy the movie* 😀 but seriously I went through a series of stuff that made me know that there was more to September 3rd 2005 than the two of us could ever imagine.

I stood at that altar remembering all God had said, literally shaking at the thought of the adventure God had set before me and shaking more at the thought of who I was going on this adventure with – sold out, dogged man of faith who would do whatever and give whatever for the gospel. Did I dare? Could I? Was I strong enough? Was I everything God said I was? “Hadassah” he whispered (by the way that’s what God calls me when he speaks to me) “today you meet your king. You were born for such a time as this”. I shuddered. The pastor was saying something but the words meant nothing. All I could hear was the voice of God. “Hadassah, your treasure is in earthen vessels that the excellency of the power may be of me not of you”. Could I? Why did God have so much faith in me? Hot tempered, often moody, easily offended, easily angered, unforgiving, can’t stand rubbish, not exactly friendly, mind your business, perfectionist me? Then the pastor moved closer to me and whispered “Mildred I will stop this ceremony now if you don’t stop shaking and pull yourself together”. I remember it all so well, I remember taking a deep breath and saying “No sir, continue. I’m fine” My king oblivious to what I was going through at that point gave me a quizzical look and mouthed with a half smile, ‘you don’t want to marry again?’ I just smiled a weak smile and the service continued.

“…Do you Kingsley Chukwuka Okonkwo take Mildred Isioma Chijide to be your lawful wedded wife…” I do he answered boldly. Loud and clear. Pastor turns to me, must he ask me too? What if I can’t help or submit or love and cherish… and all the other things God expected me to do? Must I promise in front of everyone?

You see by saying I do, I knew the easiest part would be loving Kingsley. He’s a gem, a real treasure. The hard part was that by saying “I do” I had just told the whole world that I would live by God’s principles at all times whether I felt like it or not, no double standards; that I would make sacrifices that I may not be prepared for. That I would counsel at odd hours with people who already knew what they wanted to do. That I would accept insults, betrayals, false accusations, heart ache and lots of sleepless nights thinking about other people’s issues. By saying “I do”, I had agreed to be lied to, gossipped about and ridiculed because I would now by becoming a pastor’s wife be living in a glass house. I had promised to carry my cross and love without retaliation for things I considered wrong done to me; after all a woman of God must not strife. I had promised to stand by him through betrayals, disloyalties, debts, and other tribulations that would come from the brethren and the accuser of the brethren. By saying I do I knew the things I was signing up for and being the perfectionist that I am, all I could think about was “Can I do this?” But then the excellency of the power of God kicked in *mood music changes now in the movie and if you’re watching this would be a good time to say ‘ghen ghen!” 😀 I remember strength from God alone and I said “I DO!” We exchanged vows, rings and kisses and we were pronounced MAN AND WIFE.

Then the pastor asked us to sit for a while and asked us to turn our bibles to John 2 from verse 1 … I remember it all so well. He must have preached for about twenty minutes but the crux of the message confirmed my biggest fears. Mary the mother of Jesus said, “Whatever He tells you to do, do it.” The pastor reiterated it WHATEVER Jesus tells you to do, DO IT. WHATEVER…DO IT! WHATEVER….DO IT! Hmmm…. I remember it so well.

Its been seven years now and I still remember that day like it was yesterday. I remember that day and I thank God for that day. I thank God that I put my faith in him to give me the grace to be suitable for and adaptable to this amazing man I now call my husband. It has been an awesome journey with the good, the bad, the…great and the amazing. and I’m truly grateful for the voice of faith that rose up boldly in me that day when I boldly declared to the World and more importantly to God and to kingsley “I DO!” When all I really wanted to do was timidly whisper, “…er I’ll try”.

There have been tests but there have been many more testimonies. There have been trails but we have always triumphed. All the things I feared have shown up but they are minimal in comparison to the blessings that have come our way in the form of sons and daughters in the faith and if truth be told, when I look back now I wonder why I didn’t just enjoy the entire ceremony and trust God to do only what he can do. In these seven years we’ve been through so much but just Doing WHATEVER he tells us to do has always made it easy and I’m truly in awe of the way God has made our marriage an everyday honeymoon. Just by yielding to his word, I don’t know where the “Hot tempered, often moody, easily offended, easily angered, unforgiving, can’t stand rubbish, not exactly friendly, mind your business, perfectionist me” went. Today I am just Hadassah the pride and joy of her king- both earthly and heavenly.

… And to you both I blow many kisses as I fasten my seat belt for the many many many many exciting and adventurous years ahead.

Here are a few of the pictures I could find 😀 and for the record I actually thought I was fat back then. Goes to show you’re never as fat as you imagine. Enjoy the moment 😉

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

28 thoughts on “I remember that day So well…

  1. Api married life pst mildred,I truly rejoice wit you today. It shall be for you more marital bliss as you journey again with PK and api bday to you I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ advance. I kindly that you sent your BB pin pls wana discuss some issues with you personally.cheers
    Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless handheld from Glo Mobile.


  2. Hml pastor mildred. Haven’t been a member of the church for that long. But I must confess that I av learnt so much within this short period of time and I av been blessed.I pray God will continually use you and pastor kingsley as a blessing to more people. Ijn

    Liked by 1 person

  3. My dearest PK & Pastor Red, thank God for His awesome goodness! I also remember the day, just like yesterday. The love, joy & celebration in the air was so thick one could cut it with a knife (lol). When I look at you both, I’m reassured that marriage can truly be a wonderful & blissful experience if you do it God’s way. May God continue to bless your marriage as He blesses millions of lives & marriages through you in Jesus name. Lots of love from our family to yours.

    Ps: these pictures are absolutely fantastic!


  4. Congrate to pastor k and m.u both are a living testimony of God’s plan for his children.love u both for not just teaching us but living it.God’s blessing.


  5. Happy Anniversary mama. Indeed it was ordained by God as it has been an inspiration to many. I pray my marriage will be like urs.. May God’s grace abound to you and Pst K. I love you


  6. This just encouraged me and has made me say to myself that I must hear God concerning my marriage so that I won’t be tossed to n fro….So help me God.

    Did I really forget this….???? Happy Wedding Annivesary Mildred Kingsley-Okonkwo….Respect!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Awwwwwwww…. That’s all I can say… Too much comes to mind right now abt my own life and I keep thinking… “Errrrrrrr I’ll try too…” But u have been doing sooooo I’m sure I’ll do too….
    Congrats ma’am…


  8. this month is really ur september, happy birthday in advance, happy wedding anniversary and more Grace for the journey ahead. love the simplicity of ur gown and wow! now i knw why pst K grew in love with u*winks*


  9. *taking a deep breath* hmmmmmm… Ammmmmaaaaaaazzzzzzziiiiiiiiinnnnnnnggggggg!!! The tot of marriage used †̥♥ scare M̶̲̅ε̲̣̣̣̥ *scatter* buh wiv the knowledge of God’s word concerning marriage, ƛ♍ ready †̥♥ take dat bold step.М̣̣̥̇̊Ɣ mom Ąπϑ dad’s(PK Ąπϑ PM) marriage I̶̲̥̅̊S̶̲̥̅̊ a guarantee dat i will av a grrrrrrrreeeaaaattt marriage.lov U̶̲̥̅̊ scatter!!!


  10. Reading dis piece gives me a new level of repect for mama…living in a glass house,tho u feel like throwing stones cos sometimes u rili nd to bt u can’t…sacrificing human emotion,evn wen pple do u wrong all b cos of being a wife to d pastor ur in love wit. Accepting to be human unlike most “christians” who pretend to be perfect.we d brethren can afford to flip once in a while afterall His grace is sufficient.bt lets all remember dat His sufficient grace covers all as in aaalll his children including pastors and pastors wives. I nurse fears of growing in ministry(can i,shld i?) cos of some human nature but Mama has shown me dat against all odds dere are evens. Thanks ma’am, happy married life,happy evri..you have done justice to bn by PK all dese years, as the fruits are bare for all to see… Anybody wey wan die, ask me,i supply ropes…just kidding.


  11. Wat a beautiful piece dat kept me readn til d last words. Yeah i will always wait on d lord 4 him 2 choose right 4 me. I can’t afford 2 marry wrongly. Even wen others speak, it wil b only a confirmatn of wat God already spoke 2 me. I’m sure i wil b sharing my testimony wen d tym comes cos, God is already on it 4 me.


  12. Choi! i am just being emotional and i can’t help it.

    ok! i am listening to some cool gospel music and reading. God is faithful.

    I am also ur namesake and i also know that the full blown fulfillment of my purpose and destiny is tied to who i a marry.

    Still in the wait for him to show up @ 32…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He that will come will come. He will not tarry. Your king will come to you. Of this I’m certain did he said… None shall lack her mate.

      Our name will speak for you. Your good head will attract favour and a good man in Jesus name


      1. Mama i feel like you were writing about me apart from the wedding ceremony. From the characters mentioned to not believing a pastor wants to marry me, I really love a simple private life. Because I have refused to pray about it let alone give him a response to his proposal but each time I am praying, God begins to instill his thoughts and began to show me things about him and why I should marry him.
        He is not my tribe and I really don’t want to upset my parents. I’ve tried to figure out what exactly to do even though I have my vision, plans, goals and business plan all laid out but God told me one day while walking to church that that pastor is the shoulder on which i will shine. The conditions are so much and that makes me get annoyed the more. The last time, I was praying for something else, God spoke that the only way I will soar far higher even though the pastor is my announcer and shine is to be totally and exceptionally submissive without reserve. Mama thanks for sharing this and after so many years, it could bless my life and still blessing others. God bless you pastorM


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