MANner-less

Hi people! Hmmmm… Did you miss MANners? What can I say? Where do I start? How can I help you? Well, in the words of one of my witty daughters (you know yourself na πŸ˜‰ no need to call names) and I quote : “If you weren’t at MANners, then you are MANnerless!” When I read it on her BBM I laughed so hard. I mean excuse the pun but mehn! She’s not too far from the truth. You really missed.

However because I’m very loving and kind and I’m a really nice someborri I’ll try to gist you but the truth is as they say “if e no be panadol, e no fit be like panadol.” You have no clue what you missed. Okay. Okay. I’ll try not to rub it in but how? I’ll try sha.

Okay so the event starts off with the dome decorated for God’s princesses and because we’re royalty, we were not allowed to sit on ordinary chairs. The chairs were covered in white with pink sashes the event was slated to start by 4pm but by 3.45pm the hall was already half full with over 800 women seated? And by 4pm there were already 1500 women seated in the hall despite the light showers. Ministry phone lines were ringing incessantly with people still trying to find directions. Quite a number of women came from outside Lagos- ibadan, abeokuta, etc (and there you were sitting at home in Surulere saying “I for like go o! But its too far.” Madam, this year ehn! Decide to help yourself. You hear? All these your excuses have they helped you thus far? If it was peruvian hair or an LV handbag or a pair of Jimmy Choos you were asked to come and collect. It won’t be far. *shaking my head vigorously for you*

Sorry jare I just felt the need to go off on some of these girls. And tomorrow you’ll come for counselling on these same issues that have been addressed. Somebody will take their time, energy, money and prayers to plan a meeting that will answer your questions, solve your issues and bless your life and you will hear the same girls that go to work everyday and sit in traffic for 3hours to get to their office suddenly tell you that “Ah! Amuwo? Its too far.” So I should move it to your bedroom? It has come to God’s own now its too far. If your boss sends you to meet a client in badagry it won’t be too far then o! And when people say things like that I’m afraid of them because I start to wonder if you say you cannot come to church because its too far then in the very wise words of my pastor Rev Albert Femi Oduwole: “does that mean that when you are thirsty and there’s no water there, you’ll drink kerosene if its nearby?” (SELAH) Lol! I’ll be honest, always wanted to use that line πŸ˜‰

So what was I saying? Oh! Okay, so ladies everywhere. Eventually at the end of the day they turned out to be well over 2000 women seated and quite a lot had to stand because we ran out of seats.

Opening prayer by Mrs Amaka Onyeani then praise and worship by our very own Rock Image (DCC choir). Then Chigo (the compere) took over to kick start the event. She welcomed all the “Ladies and Mamas. Chicks and chicklets” where she gets some of the things she says is beyond me.

up next Mrs Nneka Iruobe aka. writerspeakspoetry also came up this amazing poem aboUt THIS WORD CALLED MAN. We laughed, we screamed and then we clapped. really nice. of course Chigo poked some fun at her (as usual). we thought that was good till RockΒ  Extreme came up with what can only be described as a musical (kind of like one of the High School Musical movies). exceptional. in fact now that i think of it, excuse me. i need to get up and give them another standing ovation.

After that Chigo introduced Palmira. Okay I must pause at this point and confess to you that whatever I will say here about palmira will fall short. I don’t think my English vocabulary (my apologies first to my parents- for spending so much money on my education then to all my english teachers and lecturers) will suffice to describe how beautiful her voice is. That girl can siiiing! Okay let me put it in the words of MC Acapella (yep the comedian) – If palmira was in heaven in the days of lucifer he wouldn’t stand a chance (well, that’s the idea. I believe he said something more like “e no for get mouth”) and he’s not far from the truth funny enough. She has presence, she’s heavily anointed, with a great voice and she’s very pretty on top of it. *green-eyed right now. Some people have it all- LOL!* just kidding. She knows I adore her absolutely. She set the stage for greater things to come that night.

Then after that the much awaited and totally hilarious Chigurl who looks nothing like she sounds– very pretty n “aje-butterish” (for lack of a better word). She got the ladies (and few men who sneaked in -tsk tsk they just can’t leave us alone now ladies can they?) Laughing with tears streaming down our cheeks. She taught us some of her vocabulary. If you were there I’m sure “you gEt it” (in thick ibo accent sounds like gate). Did I hear you say “yEs” (and that’s yays) :D. This explanation is too much. Why did you miss it nau? Anyway she sang all her famous songs starting with “kilodem”, then she sang her “valentime song” and of course the night wouldn’t be complete without her rendition of the classic “Don’t be a waiste”. But suprise suprise chigurl actually speaks with an american accent normally and she even more surprising is the fact that she speaks (I hear) five languages. No not hausa, ibo , yoruba. I’m talking foreign languages (french, germann those kind of things). She actually spoke impeccable french to me. *show-off* and she’s unashamedly born-again. Amazing human being. I hear she has a great voice too (kai! Only one person)

Then of course our very dramatic entertainer -yinka Davies– took us into her “worship” or should I say love relationship with Jesus. She churned out love song after love song to her first husband. Honestly I wasn’t sure whether to join her in worship or leave the room so they could have some privacy πŸ˜‰ The truth is Yinka as “unpredictable” as she may seem I mean the last time she came for one of our Just Us Girls’ conferences (when women worship) she did some pole dancing as she worshipped her king :D. This time even though I removed all “poles” she brought a scarf and waved it in “worship” to the lover of her soul. We were all inspired. (And honestly, as she worshipped the picture I had in my head was of two ladies loving one man and all I can say is “No drag man with yinka o! You won’t stand a chance” πŸ˜€ thank God our God is the El-Shaddai (the multi-breasted one ) and he has enough capacity to love us all. If not after what yinka did that night… Hmm! Some of us would not have a Lord again o! πŸ˜€

Then…. Drum roll… The moment we had all been waiting for … THE WORD! If you were not there. How can I help you now? Hmmm… Let me see if I can try. It won’t be the same but pastor K sha! He has a way with the Word. He is a teacher of the Word. Trust pastor K it was a serious case of laugh and learn as He clarified issues and challenged mindsets. Women were set free from bad decisions and bad relationships. Delivered from common mistakes women make especially that false dream we always have about changing a man. He left us speechless at the end of the day. the day was also very eventful as he launched two of his new books.

When it was question and answer time I realised that a lot of women have issues o! I mean even the wierdest questions. You won’t believe it. Can I really give you all the gist? Well, the great part is you can always get the cd. what I can do though because I love you so much is put up as many pictures as I can ;). class=”post-sig”>Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

7 thoughts on “MANner-less

  1. PM finish this recap na!!

    I tried to watch the live streaming but the quality was BADDD!!! (Sound/Picture).

    😦

    I have watched the recorded version and the quality still dey pain me, it echoed from beginning till end.

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    1. Sorry love. This our tech guys only God will help me and them. I was out of town for a bit and no internet service there. But I’m 80% done now. Still working on uploading more pictures.

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  2. I watched the broadcast from Ireland, admitted the transmission was poor but i stuck my butt to my chair and literarily glued my eyes to my laptop. It was WORD WORTH WATCHING! poor men! indeed they have been exposed no more shakara all their attitude na gragra sef! Imagine after watching MANners I don turn relationship councelor only God knows what will happen if I attend LDM programs?

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  3. Hmmm……MANners was WOW, I particularly was wowed by the attendance, not to talk of the Dance and Drama……twas an experience. Glad I didn’t miss it, nonetheless,I can’t help but be ‘Oliver Twist’ I want moreeeeee .

    Pst K,I think there should be a part two of it and in the nearest future too. And this time around please let’s start earlier…say like 1pm ”lol”

    Anywayz…..I anticipated that the question and answer time would be more interactive, wasn’t surprised at the questions ladies had to ask at the event,but I guess time wasn’t exactly our friend. Truth is you will be amazed at the stories and experiences ladies have,most of which could be avoided to save them all the hurt and bitterness.

    God help us……we are emotional by nature(as PK always says) but in all of the emotions…ladies we need to STAND in LOVE and not FALL in LOVE, Love with both our HEAD and HEART. When you see the handwriting on the wall,pls take a walk if you can’t take what’s written.
    While you’re single,please ENJOY it, have fun,go out,meet people, LIVE LIFE. Don’t just sit around brooding over any guy, hey…life is passing you by. Believe me,one day you will CRAVE these single days.
    Stay blessed.

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  4. Hello pastor M. I came across ur blog on eziaha’s blog. Thank God 4 pple like u. Wasn’t aware of MANnerless else I uld have attended. Pls how do I get d cd? When is ur next programme? I really need 2 start attending things like dis cos I am slacking in faith

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